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So far julia has created 197 blog entries.

Who the Hell Do You Think You Are?

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:45+00:00 December 3rd, 2015|General|

The other day I was with a client and we were working through some self-worth and self-esteem issues. The struggle was big and the struggle was real. And it was mostly due to the laundry list of criticisms and condemnations they had about themselves regarding all the things they believed they were not. And it got me thinking: How many of us find ourselves all caught up in our heads more often than that which is necessary (necessary meaning pretty much never) regarding all the things we’re not, but wish we were. How often do [...]

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Passive Aggressive Behaviour. What’s It All About?

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:45+00:00 November 26th, 2015|General|

  Have you ever known someone who seems all nice and pleasant on the outside, but who you often go away from with a funny, uncertain, insecure or kind of ick feeling? You leave their presence asking yourself “what just happened? I feel all kinds of no good, but I can’t directly put my finger on what was said or done… all seemed pleasant on the surface, but something was just not right.” And then you start to question yourself and wonder if it’s you who’s being weird and not them. But I’m here to [...]

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The Importance of Fun. Any Why it’s NOT Optional.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:45+00:00 November 17th, 2015|General|

    We are generation always-looking-for-balance (whatever that means), and many of us don’t do such a great job of creating it all the time. Yes, work is important, but not the most important – contrary to common practice (I’m not going to say belief here, because I think most of us would agree that work is NOT the most important thing in life, although many of us often treat it as though it is). But there are actually 3 aspects of life we MUST be investing in if we have any hope of being [...]

Are You an Abusive Person? I’ll Bet You Are.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:45+00:00 November 10th, 2015|General|

  If asked whether or not we support physical, emotional, or psychological abuse most of us would respond with a resounding NO WAY! But I’m going to go ahead and tell you: You’d be lying. And this is why: Boldly speaking, most of us are way too emotionally, psychologically, and even physically abusive with ourselves, if not frequently, than regularly. Physically: some of us over eat, under eat, or just eat crap. We over exercise, under exercise and put our bodies through the wringer on a regular basis. And I’m not even getting into the abuse we inflict [...]

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You Need to Fail. And I’ll Give You 3 Reasons Why.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:45+00:00 October 26th, 2015|General|

Several years ago, after my breakthrough aha moment when the clouds opened up and it became crystal clear to me that I was going to do whatever it took to become a therapist, I realized I first had to become someone who was qualified enough to apply to grad school to become a therapist. So I spent that next 2 ½ years taking pre-requisite courses, and studying my butt off to write the big grad school standardized (aka GRE) exam. Once I felt prepared enough to write said monstrous exam I paid the several hundred [...]

Love Someone Who Has Depression? 4 MORE Things You Need to Know.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:45+00:00 October 19th, 2015|General|

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HJ0AqZmi6Y In this video I talk about 4 MORE things you need to know about loving someone with Depression - and some meaningful things you can do to help and support them. Part 1 of this series about loving someone with depression can be found here.  Have a Mental Health or Personal Wellness Topic you'd like me to cover in a video? Feel free to leave your suggestions or questions in the comments section below. If you enjoyed this video, please do share it. And if you do, please let me know so I can [...]

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If You Need Affirmation From Others, Is there Something Wrong with You?

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:45+00:00 October 18th, 2015|General|

The other day someone asked me if I thought it was a bad thing for them to enjoy getting positive affirmation from others, and I said, no, as long as you don’t need it. As long as it’s just the icing on your cake. But that is wrong. I made a big mistake. And I take it back. Here’s why. We are relational beings. Through and through. And in the happiness research I always have my nose in, the same thing keeps showing up as the single most influential contributor to our overall happiness and [...]

For Those Who Hate Boundary Setting – I Give You Boundary Setting Light.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:46+00:00 October 15th, 2015|General|

Of all the topics people ask me to write or speak about, hands down the most common one is always something to do with boundary setting. Apparently it’s a big deal for most of us. And it can be a tricky one to master, or at least do somewhat well some of the time. And it’s true, communication in general is complicated. What can I say, we are complicated beings! And thank goodness for that. If we weren’t, my life would be boring and my borderline unhealthy obsession with all things psychology would be pretty [...]

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Those Terrible American Idol Auditions… They Actually Have One Up on Us!

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:46+00:00 October 4th, 2015|General|

The other day I was having this conversation with my brother (I feel like I start many of these articles like this), but anyway, he said something to me I already knew, but the context in which he said it totally blew my mind. So the day of said conversation I was having a day. And not a great day. On this particular day my mind was being taken over by my inner critic who was trying its darndest to knock me right off my feet, and it didn’t feel good. You see, I love [...]

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Entrepreneurial Boundary Setting 101

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:46+00:00 September 27th, 2015|General|

"Boundaries don’t mean you are mean. Boundaries mean you are clear."   I’m a therapist. And so my job is to care. But I also really do care, which is one of the big reasons I love my job so much. I get to earn a living doing something I genuinely love, and am so grateful for it every day. Part of what I do as well is give some of my knowledge and expertise away for free. I write this blog, I have given pro bono talks around my community, I have a YouTube [...]

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Feeling Guilty for Not Finishing Something You Started? Here’s What You Need to Do.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:46+00:00 September 20th, 2015|General|

How many of us have ever started a recreational project, activity, or hobby only to leave it haphazardly abandoned somewhere along the way? And then find its said incompleteness hanging heavily over our heads and haunting us to no avail? And some days we even find ourselves lying in bed thinking “dang nabbit! Another day went by and I didn’t pick up that guitar that’s become a dust mite paradise over in the corner, or sign up for part 2 of that French course I started 3 years ago, or put the finishing touches on the [...]

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Know Someone Who is Depressed? This is What You Need to Know.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:46+00:00 September 17th, 2015|General|

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5PRxE4yJpw In this video I talk about 6 things you need to know about loving someone with Depression - and some meaningful and effective things you can do to help and support them. If you enjoyed this, please do share it. And if you do, let me know so I can thank you!

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How I Got Through My Mini Crisis: A Step by Step Guide.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:46+00:00 September 14th, 2015|General|

Failure is not about whether or not you fall in the hole, it’s about whether or not you climb out of it. The last month, business wise, has been weird. Good weird or bad weird. I’m not sure yet, but hopefully by the end of this article it will be more clear. As I was saying, it’s been a month. A total entrepreneurial roller coaster of a month. Some really great things have happened that I wasn’t expecting and I am really excited and grateful for those. But just the other day I was doing my [...]

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Free Therapy or Life Coaching Session Contest!

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:46+00:00 September 9th, 2015|General|

In case you missed it on Periscope*, Julia Kristina Counselling is holding a contest for a 55 minute Counselling or Life Coaching Session via Skype! Here are all the ways to get your name in the draw: Go to Julia’s Good for Me personal development blog here and pick your favourite article (or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5). You get 1 entry for: Each article you Tweet - and make sure you tag @juliacounsellor in the tweet in order for it to count. Liking Julia Kristina Counselling’s Facebook Page found HERE. You get 2 [...]

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Positive Affirmations Don’t Work.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:47+00:00 September 6th, 2015|General|

  And I’ll tell you why. In a minute. First. Have you ever stood in front of the mirror and told yourself something about being amazing, wonderful, powerful, and strong? And after the quick dopamine rush that any good pep talk can offer, did you feel like a changed person? I mean really, deeply changed? Did that warm and tingly feeling of confidence and self-love last more than a hot second or two? Most likely not. But you don’t have to feel bad, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just that you told yourself a [...]

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5 Things You are doing Unintentionally that are Making You More Anxious

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:47+00:00 August 30th, 2015|General|

Anxiety is a normal emotion. We all feel it at times, and that’s not a bad thing. Anxiety CAN serve us well if and when it comes about to warn us of impending danger, but actual danger, not the relatively inconsequential things we usually get ourselves all worked up about. Anxiety is a big issue in our culture, bigger than ever. But I’m not going to go in to philosophizing as to why it’s become such a problem. We’ll save that for another day. Regardless of the reason for our anxious feelings, one thing is clear, it’s [...]

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A Self-Harm FAQ Video Collaboration.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:47+00:00 August 28th, 2015|General|

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6SF5wQ5H2k A recent collaboration I did with a Mental Health Peer support YouTuber, LikeKristen. This girl is so incredible and inspirational, and such a joy to work with. In the video I answer some of her viewer FAQ's about how to talk to one's therapist about self harm. We hope you find it useful!

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I Just Had My Happiness Ass Kicked.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:47+00:00 August 23rd, 2015|General|

Ponder this: When do you think you’re more likely to get a bigger hit of happiness? When you do something for someone who is easy to be generous with? Or when you have to work hard to make yourself be generous with someone who isn’t making it easy? Now hold that thought. Here’s a story: A short while ago a colleague of mine asked me for a favour. Not a huge favour, but they did ask if I would mind sharing a document with them I had created so they could copy it and use it for their [...]

Those Who Pursue Their Dreams and Those Who Don’t: The 3 Big Differences.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:47+00:00 August 16th, 2015|General|

All of us have dreams. But have you ever wondered why some of us pursue them and some don’t? Why do some people get out there and just go for what they want while the rest sit idly by on the sidelines wishing and hoping. Don’t get me wrong, there may be legitimately good reasons why some don’t pursue their dreams, but I have a feeling, no, in fact I know, many people don’t pursue their dreams for not very good reasons. And actually getting out there and pursuing ones dreams is not a matter [...]

Feeling Stressed Out? This is Going to Help.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:47+00:00 August 11th, 2015|General|

"There is more to life than simply increasing our speed" There are way more sources than ever before pushing and vying for our immediate attention, AND doing a really good job of luring us in whether we like it or not. They promised technology was going to make life exponentially easier because it was going to allow us to do things much faster thus adding simplicity and convenience to almost every area of our lives. But the exact opposite has become our reality – now that we can do more in less time, we don’t magically have heaps [...]

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5 Important Secrets Confident People Know Well.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:47+00:00 August 3rd, 2015|General|

Do you think people are more confident because they are super successful? Or are people more successful because they tend to be quite confident? Most of us believe the former, when in fact, the latter is actually true. And although some were born exuding confidence right from the start, most of us have had to work on becoming more confident. So not to worry, you don’t have to have always had confidence in order to become a confident person. There are some pretty straight forward things you can start doing right away to bring out the Yay and [...]

How To Keep it Together – Even When You’re Really Pissed Off.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:47+00:00 July 26th, 2015|General|

Anger is quite a powerful little 5 letter word that means very different things to different people. For some, especially women, it is an emotion that is rejected or avoided at all cost and understood as evil, bad, or unacceptable. For others it is all too present and readily available to use to hurt, damage, or destroy – sometimes irreparably so. But anger is just an emotion. And like any emotion, it’s not really right or wrong, but what we do with it can either be used for either good or evil. For good, anger can help [...]

Why Trying to be Fiercely Independent Will Leave You Wildly Unhappy.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:48+00:00 July 20th, 2015|General|

The other day on CBC Radio One they were talking about teen depression and how it’s on the rise in North America. Some stats say that approximately 20% of all teens will experience a major depressive episode before they reach their adult years. I find this information quite off-putting and disturbing and it's made me reflect on the why of it all. Why, in a nation where the majority of us have way more than anyone could ever want, let alone, need? Where we have freedom, food, and fresh water? Where we have education, elected government, and employment? Where [...]

CBT May Not Actually Be What You Think It Is.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:48+00:00 July 16th, 2015|General|

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvRKTGLS7kQ Here I talk about what Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is and why, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT the Power of Positive Thinking. Have a Mental Health or Personal Wellness Topic you'd like me to cover in a video? Feel free to leave your suggestions or questions in the comments section below  

5 Things I Wish I’d Known in High School (but am glad I know now).

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:48+00:00 July 12th, 2015|General|

I’m not a big fan of living in the past, regretting the past or punishing myself incessantly for things I may have done or not done in the past. But there are certain things that would have been nice to know (or to have really understood) back in high school. I think if I had, I probably could have saved myself from a lot of self-doubt, hurt, and frustration. But the good news is we can know these things now. And be grateful we are learning and applying them today instead of 10 years from today. It also [...]

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Why Having High Standards May Be Holding You Back.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:48+00:00 July 5th, 2015|General|

It donned on me part way through the day that because this past Wednesday was Canada day, the work week seemed to just slop by before I realized I had yet to write my weekly Good for Me article. Now of course no one is forcing me to write one post each and every week – and I’m sure those of you who are waiting with baited breath for the moment I push the publish button are few and far between, but I made an unspoken commitment to myself to post one original article per [...]

What Are You Weird About?

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:48+00:00 June 28th, 2015|General|

I’m going to come right out and say it: I’m weird about sleep. And have been as long as I can remember. I think this is partly because as a child, I’ve been told, for some reason I had difficulties falling asleep and this must have carried on more-or-less in to adulthood. Now I’m not sure if this issues is a case of the chicken or the egg. I don’t know if I have problems falling asleep because I’m worried about whether or not I’m going to get enough sleep, or if it just takes [...]

One Simple Habit to Help You Overcome Anger & Frustration.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:48+00:00 June 21st, 2015|General|

Do you ever have times when everything can be going great and then one little bad thing will happen it’s ALL you can think about? It’s as if all that was going well up until that point gets completely wiped out because of this one tiny flaw. But what about the flip side? Does the same ring true? When everything is going terrible and one little good thing happens, do we allow this one small positive occurrence to take over and sweeten the unpleasant situation? Do we let it come in and trump all of [...]

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Why Envy Might Actually Be Good For You.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:48+00:00 June 14th, 2015|General|

Here’s a question for you: Who do you envy? Now ask yourself: Why do you envy them? And although this is quite an uncomfortable question to ask, it’s actually quite an important one because it can really help you know yourself better. Envy toward something someone else has tells us about something we wish we had. And when we know what that thing is, we can ask ourselves if there’s a way we can have it too. Envy can show us something that’s missing from our lives, or make clear to us some kind of [...]

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The Easy Way to Become Successful.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:48+00:00 June 7th, 2015|General|

There’s an old teaching tale that goes something like this: Two villagers were talking one day about how each of them wanted to become wealthy. Both agreed that in order to consider themselves wealthy they would need to somehow acquire a relatively large pile of coins. One of the villagers decided he would not change anything about his life, but rather spend his days sitting at home by the fire hoping a pile of coins would suddenly appear on his doorstep, and occasionally complain about why he wasn't getting what he wanted. The other villager decided [...]

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