Tag Archives: anxiety

Zero Tolerance.

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Further to last week’s discussion, I’ve been learning more about that which seems to be contributing to the current state of our overly anxious society: and that is our ability (or lack thereof) to tolerate frustration. What I mean is, some things, sometimes, are not within our control, and we often aren’t able to manage every little detail, and things don’t always go exactly our way. Many of us have learned to lose our patience when things do not go as planned and thus often experience some greater or lesser (but often greater) degree of distress, worry, or discouragement when we encounter detours or roadblocks in life. Some of us even claim defeat and give up all together at the smallest setback or obstacle. Why is that? Why do we often get so glued to things going our way and become all wound up when they don’t? So what happens if things don’t go exactly how we expected? Who said they had to? And who decided that we ought to get all bent out of shape if they don’t? I think it’s sometimes good for us to sit in a bit of frustration if it will help us learn to tolerate it with a little more grace.

I have a feeling that one can’t help but enjoy life more when less time is spent fretting over that which cannot be controlled or changed, and more time is spent regrouping, refocusing, and ultimately rolling with that darn, but inevitable, resistance.

Perspiring Unnecessarily.

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But what if Julia? What if???  I hear that a lot. In fact, I sometimes find myself saying that a lot.

Does it seem like as a culture we have become a lot more anxious as individuals in the last decade or two? I don’t have any concrete stats or studies handy right now, but I have heard that we, in general, experience a higher degree of anxiety than generations before. I equate some of this to the paradox of choice: meaning that now, more than ever before, we have SO many choices in almost everything, almost all of the time, that it becomes almost paralyzing. From what type of milk we’d like frothed in an attempt to feed our $5.00 per cup latté addiction, to how many television screen inches we are convinced will satisfy our deepest longings, to choosing the perfect hue of eggshell white we are to paint our drab and dreary living room walls (by the way, did you know there are 137 different whites in the Benjamin Moore paint colour palate? Really? 137??).

With endless amounts of choices presented to us, one might think that there is, in fact, a perfect choice, however one might not be exactly sure what that perfect choice is, or what type of perfection in which arena one might be trying to achieve. Thus, sets in the anxiety. If there is a perfect way to dress, decorate, consume, interact, entertain, relate, and socialize then what happens if we somehow fall short of this seemingly subjective mark? And if the mark is subjective, who’s subjective is it, and how do we know if we’ve achieved the nebulous right and perfect that we seek?’ Perhaps I’m getting a little too philosophical… I digress.

My point is that when we spend our moments fretting, worrying, and in perpetual unease about the what if, our present becomes filled with fear for the future in some way, shape, or form, leaving little room to actually live our lives in any kind of meaningful way… right now. In the present. OUR present. Most things are out of our total control, and it seems like many of us spend a lot of time trying to control that which we ultimately can’t, thus leaving ourselves to fight a losing battle. I’m not saying it’s bad to prepare for the future, or to use caution, logic, and good sense in our daily lives, but there is such thing as too much. Some times we need to just let go and have a little faith that ultimately the vast majority of our choices, decisions, and dilemmas are not a matter of life and death – and really don’t matter all that much. And thank goodness for that. In the grand scheme of things most of it is just small stuff anyway. So I ask the question: is it really worth all of that sweat?