Tag Archives: materialism

The Issue with White Pants

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Have you ever noticed that the more stuff people have, the more locks, gates, security systems, passwords, and other protection devices they have as well? Most of us are already aware that there is a direct link between materialism and depression for many reasons. One of these reasons being that generally the more we have, the more the more we are responsible for protecting that which we have, leading to more stress, more time spent managing our possessions, and less time for the things that really matter.  Because we live in the West, relatively speaking, the vast majority of us have A LOT. Not to say that all of us who have a lot are necessarily protective and possessive with our belongings, but I don’t think it would be too far off to say that none of us likes to have our stuff damaged by a careless borrowee, accidently lost, or not-so-accidently stolen. So this then would indicate that there is some degree of time, energy, and effort… not to mention concern and worry, that goes into possession ownership. How much time do we want to be spending stressing about and managing the state of our goods? And if we are being distracted in this way, how much of this takes us away from being involved in things that are truly meaningful and important? At what point do we cross that line into becoming possessed by our possessions? And we might even ask ourselves, why do we let it happen?

Now it’s not always so easy in the current state of our society to stay grounded in and focused on the things that are truly meaningful and important, and thus keeping ourselves from getting caught up in the ultimately isolating chaos. Regular little self-reminders and reality checks are often essential if we hope to keep the main things the main things.

Just A Little More.

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How much is enough? Here I’m talking about Money. Do we secretly believe that once we finally have that certain amount we will no doubt become the happy people we’ve always wanted to be? Whether conscious or not, many of us think that once I have just a little more I will be happy. But the sobering part in all of this is that the just right amount isn’t actually achievable. So what does all this mean? Surely if I make or acquire X amount of dollars a year/month/day I will be satisfied and I will finally be happy in the truest sense… well… not so much. Interestingly enough studies have been done which show that even the wealthiest people in the world believe that just a little more will do the trick (the trick being that financial position whereby one feels totally satisfied and content). Can you believe it? I’m talking multi, multi millionaires think like this too!

If we find ourselves holding out on our happiness until we reach some personal financial mark in life, I’m sad to say that day will not come. Again, to clarify, I’m not saying that having financial goals is a bad thing, in fact I’m a big proponent of most types of goal setting. I am saying, however, that reaching those financial goals is not the secret to happiness – no matter WHAT marketing, media, and society tell us.

To drive this point home, recent studies by Dr. Richard Ryan and Dr. Tim Kasser, professors of psychology at the University of Rochester and Knox College respectively, suggest that people who focus primarily on the acquisition of wealth (in the hopes it will bring them happiness) tend to experience a high degree of anxiety and depression, a lower sense of well-being, and greater behavioural and physical problems than your average Joe. That seems a bit counter-productive don’t you think?

Perhaps this is not the first time you’ve heard this, nor is it the first time I’ve written something to this effect. But I think all of us need little reminders from time to time. It’s SO easy to get caught up in the deception.

Will I Be Pretty?

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When is enough, enough? After watching this YouTube video that was sent to me I became overwhelmed with emotion as I thought about how many women and girls in our culture have become obsessed with our physical appearance. Literally. I mean obsessed. At first I thought, “Yeah, speak it loud and clear sister! Looks shouldn’t matter at all! And as women we need to stop thinking about, caring about, or worrying about what we look like! Who even cares!” Well, after coming down from this emotional high and thinking about it a little further I’d have to say that I do feel this way… to a certain extent… but I’m not ready to go out and burn my bra any time soon.

I believe we, both men and women alike, were created with an eye for beauty – not just in other humans, but also in our world. There is so much natural beauty around us and many of us feel good when we experience the beauty of creation. So then, if we were born with the propensity to appreciate looking at things that are pretty and appealing, is it then maladaptive to want to be attractive and appealing ourselves? I’m tempted to say no. Is it maladaptive and unhealthy to be constantly preoccupied with wanting to devise ways to look more attractive? And spend much of our time, energy, effort, and talents attempting to attain a certain feeling that is not actually attainable by way of stuff and things? To that I’d have to say yes.

Something else that has come out of my research on happiness which I found fascinating is that as it turns out, on these extreme makeover shows where women who thought they were unattractive and thought that they could only ever find real happiness if others found them physically beautiful, were right… after they’d recovered from their umpteen different face, body, and skin operations and procedures and were able to look in the mirror and for the first time be giddy with delight in what they saw these women did feel really, really happy… for the first few month. At best. Usually the dramatic spike in happiness stuck around for a few weeks after recovery and then went right back to generally the same level of personal happiness the madeover women felt before they ever went under the knife.

So, will it make me genuinely happy and content with myself if I shop till I drop and acquire all the nicest clothes, sexiest purses, or most powerful pumps? If I have the perfect shade of chestnut hair, the most flattering hue of rose coloured lips, or the ideal waist-to-hip ratio? The research results are clear: not a chance. Is it, however, unhealthy to enjoy and delight in feeling attractive and pretty from time to time? Of course not. Just as long as we don’t naively buy into the lie (aka marketing tactic) that it will actually make us happier.

If Only…

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According to research, the life circumstances in which we find ourselves; meaning that whether we live in a mansion or a trailer, on the sunny southern west coast or the bitterly cold prairies, our degree of beauty or plainness, our fitness level or body mass index, or whether we are married or single makes up only about 10% of our sense of well-being and happiness. In theory, then, this means that we can spend the better part of our adult life scrimping, saving, and stressing over every dime spent in order to one day afford our dream home with an ocean view which we believe will make us so much more happy in life, when it actuality it really won’t.

The bad news is that the most glorious pair of black patent stilettos, the perfect breezy summer party dress, a wrinkle free forehead, an ideal waist-to-hip ratio, or the newest iphone, signed hockey jersey, biggest television screen, or fastest BMW will not actually make us noticeably happier. So if an increase in happiness level is what we seek by the acquisition of such things, our efforts are relatively futile. The good news is that the most glorious pair of black patent stilettos, the perfect breezy summer party dress, a wrinkle free forehead, an ideal waist-to-hip ratio, or the newest iphone, signed hockey jersey, biggest television screen, or fastest BMW will not actually make us noticeably happier. So if we lack the means to acquire such things without then being obligated to pay for them for the next 35 years, all is not lost for we will be no more miserable in their absence.

When found reflecting on our lives and the circumstances in which we find ourselves many of us are often apt to use the phrase if only [insert your hearts desire here] then I would be [insert your most desired emotional outcome here]… Well, as it turns out research shows us that our if only phrase is almost always destined to end with: I will feel pretty much exact same as I do now in a few short days, hours, or even minutes.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me but I find this information incredibly liberating.