self-confidence | Julia Kristina Counselling

3 Unintentional Habits that Are Killing Your Confidence.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:42-07:00January 19th, 2017|General|

Bad habits. Sometimes they are things we don’t even know we’re doing, but are having a negative effect on our self-confidence nonetheless. Now we could go on to hypothesize as where and why and where we picked up these bad habits in the first place, but we’ll save that for another day. For today, let’s just draw our attention to them, and make a concerted effort to get rid of them. Saying sorry all the time. Of course I’m not talking about apologizing if we’ve hurt, offended, inconvenienced, or upset someone (whether intentionally or not), but those [...]

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A Funny thing that Will Reduce Your Stress & Increase Your Confidence.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:43-07:00August 7th, 2016|General|

Who needs more fun in their lives? I, for one, definitely do. With businesses and babies and responsibilities, and with all of the other stuff that comes from being a grown up, sometimes I get so busy that I forget to take a moment or two for a little fun. I was hit smack between the eyes with this one a short while ago while working with someone who is going through some really difficult stuff. She and her husband have been trying to get pregnant for the past 3 years and after investing thousands of dollars in trying [...]

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Stop Trying To Be So Nice. It’s Making You Miserable.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00February 4th, 2016|General|

By nice, I mean trying so hard to always be pleasant, pleasing, lovely, happy, positive, only doing what other people want you to do, never speaking up for fear of ruffling any feathers, keeping yourself hidden and small behind what you think other people want or expect you of you… nice. Don’t get me wrong, I am a big advocate for treating others with kindness, care, and respect. Be considerate and thoughtful, yes. Only doing or saying or acting in ways we think other people want us to because we want, no we NEED them [...]

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A Hard Truth You Need to Hear.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00January 21st, 2016|General|

And it’s going to be hard for different people for different reasons. This might be a little harsh, and if it makes you uncomfortable, it’s probably a good thing – it means you need to hear it. We’re just going to jump right in, so here it goes: No one is better than you and you are not better than anyone else. For some of you, that may be relieving, for others uncomfortable. So let me explain: We all have our strengths, gifts, talents and abilities that we bring to the table in any of [...]

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9 Things You Can Do To Feel Great Today, and Everyday.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:51-07:00May 7th, 2015|General|

1. Make Yourself a Priority. No, it’s not ALL about you, but No it’s not NEVER about you. Your needs matter and other people’s needs matter. But remember when I said your needs matter? It’s up to you to value yourself, take care of yourself and, set your own healthy boundaries for yourself – it’s not anyone else’s responsibility. And if you don’t consider yourself in any of the equations, you’ll likely find yourself feeling exhausted, run down, bitter and frustrated – and that’s no good. I'll use one of my favourite metaphors to illustrate this [...]

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Who Says? and Who Cares?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:54-07:00July 17th, 2014|General|

I find it curious when people talk about how they feel bad because they think they should be more interesting by being more interested in something that’s “cool” (I’m not really sure who’s the official word on what’s cool and what’s not, but anyway…) Let’s look at this. Feeling crummy about yourself because you think you should be more interested in x, y, or z in order to make yourself more interesting. But what happens if you’re NOT actually really all that interested in x, y, or z? Some of the ones I've heard are: [...]

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With A Little Grace

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:58-07:00July 23rd, 2012|General|

Self deprecation and humility – there is a difference. I don’t know if it’s a Canadian thing or what, but I think many of us fear appearing egotistical, prideful, or cocky to such an extent that we overcompensate too much toward the other end and become almost self-deprecating. It’s often relatively subtle – an “oh it’s not that good” here, an “I kind of messed it up” there, a “You should see how good so and so does it”… but any and all put downs we give ourselves do still chip away at the soul [...]

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