Just A Little More.

How much is enough? Here I’m talking about Money. Do we secretly believe that once we finally have that certain amount we will no doubt become the happy people we’ve always wanted to be? Whether conscious or not, many of us think that once I have just a little more I will be happy. But the sobering part in all of this is that the just right amount isn’t actually achievable. So what does all this mean? Surely if I make or acquire X amount of dollars a year/month/day I will be satisfied and I will finally be happy in the truest sense… well… not so much. Interestingly enough studies have been done which show that even the wealthiest people in the world believe that just a little more will do the trick (the trick being that financial position whereby one feels totally satisfied and content). Can you believe it? I’m talking multi, multi millionaires think like this too!

If we find ourselves holding out on our happiness until we reach some personal financial mark in life, I’m sad to say that day will not come. Again, to clarify, I’m not saying that having financial goals is a bad thing, in fact I’m a big proponent of most types of goal setting. I am saying, however, that reaching those financial goals is not the secret to happiness – no matter WHAT marketing, media, and society tell us.

To drive this point home, recent studies by Dr. Richard Ryan and Dr. Tim Kasser, professors of psychology at the University of Rochester and Knox College respectively, suggest that people who focus primarily on the acquisition of wealth (in the hopes it will bring them happiness) tend to experience a high degree of anxiety and depression, a lower sense of well-being, and greater behavioural and physical problems than your average Joe. That seems a bit counter-productive don’t you think?

Perhaps this is not the first time you’ve heard this, nor is it the first time I’ve written something to this effect. But I think all of us need little reminders from time to time. It’s SO easy to get caught up in the deception.

Becoming a Natural

Further to the conversation on increasing happiness in our lives, research suggests that one of the things that people with high levels of happiness do is remember to be intentionally grateful. Gratitude has been shown to be a very powerful antidote to sadness, frustration, depression, anxiety, and envy. By choosing to focus on and be grateful for what we do have we become much less likely to focus on or be worried about what we don’t. Now I’m not trying to be trite and recommend in the midst of despair that we should just stuff our sadness aside and look on the bright side – by no means. Sadness, frustration, and anger do have a valuable place in our lives, and giving those emotions some space is very important. That said, some boundaries with how much we indulge those emotions is very important as well. It’s not so useful to keep ourselves in an endless downward spiral of misery, and although it sometimes feels like we can’t help but feel sad, bad, mad, jealous, or worried, we in fact, to a greater or lesser extent, can.

By intentionally making a short list of things we are grateful for on a regular basis, either in our heads, by speaking them to another, or by actually writing a few down from time to time, we can’t help but start to see things differently.

The great news is that the research on happiness also shows that our personal happiness has very little to do with what we do or do not have: so for those of us who believe we would be happy if only…we would be wrong. It has very much more to do with the perspective that we chose to take. Sometimes easier said than done, but like most things that become natural this too takes patience, practice, and persistence.