Learning how to speak up for yourself in a way that people will listen to and respect can be challenging. So often we fear speaking up because we don't want to upset anyone, rock the boat, create tension or awkwardness in the relationship or because we don't want it to turn into conflict or a fight. Becoming a great communication and issue resolver is about learning how to say what you want to say, and cleaning up your thoughts and feelings before you address the issue in order to keep the communication clear and [...]
Starting or getting into a mindfulness practice can feel a little overwhelming, if not totally daunting or unrealistic for many of us. Does it mean I'm going to have to sit cross-legged on the floor for and clear my mind and my thoughts completely into nothingness for hours on end? And the answer is, no. Becoming more mindful is something you can do anytime and anyplace and it is so easy and straightforward. No chimes, gongs or om's necessary. In this video I teach you exactly what you can do immediately to become more [...]
Many people thing being sensitive is a weakness. You may have even been told more than once that you are "too sensitive" and you've seen this as a bad thing. But the truth is, the world needs sensitive people, and being sensitive is not a flaw or a weakness - it is actually one of your biggest strengths. In this talk, I teach you what a highly sensitive person is, what are some of the biggest strengths about being an HSP are and how to lean in and use those strengths.
Getting stuck in anxiety feels pretty awful. And what can make it worse, is that when we try to force ourselves to stop feeling anxious, we often end up feeling more anxious - and then blame ourselves for being "too weak" or "too messed up" to be stop it. But what if trying to stop feeling anxious is not really how to effectively deal with anxiety, and even overcome your biggest struggles with it? In this talk I'll teach you why trying to force yourself to stop feeling anxious isn't working (and it's not [...]
There are times for all of us when we feel angry, frustrated or resentful because of how we see a certain situation, but don't actually realize it's our personal perspective or negative beliefs about ourselves or others that are getting us in the way. In this video I talk about 3 different situations that can cause many of us unnecessary anger, resentment or frustration, and then give you practical strategies to deal with them in healthy and effective ways.
When we perceive something as a threat and then avoid it, our brain thinks this thing is dangerous (even if it isn't). Then, if we never give our brains a chance to see that this thing is not actually dangerous, it will continue to thing it is, and we will continue to avoid said thing. And the the more we do this, the more stuck we get. When a perceived situation, circumstance or relationship is seen as dangerous, and because of this, we avoid it, then we're telling our brains that we can't handle [...]
As I’m sure you know, telling yourself to just think positive or just be grateful or just get over it when you're feeling bad, sad, mad, angry or resentful typically doesn't cut it. So don't feel bad if that hasn’t worked for you every time. We are more complex than just being able to positive our way out of our emotions all the time. Here I teach you a simple 3 step process using CBT and mindfulness for moving through a negative feeling in an effective, helpful, but pretty counterintuitive way!
So you’re tired and just want to get a good night's sleep but your brain has conveniently decided this is the most opportune time to review the days conversations and all the dumb things you did or said or what people are thinking about you as a result, or it review every mistake you’ve ever made, all the terrible things that could happen to one of your loved ones, or anything else terrible that maybe might or could happen in the future or that did happen in the past. Why do our brains do [...]
Today we’re going to talk about why that popular saying, “failure is not an option” is a whole load of hooey that is likely causing you a lot of unnecessary stress, anxiety, pressure, and overwhelm. I'm going to teach you 3 ways to get past your fear of failure, make peace with it once and for aoo, tell why you need to fail, and motivate you to change your perspective and mindset to start believing why getting good at failing is one of the most important things you can do to become more resilient, [...]
Have you ever felt frustrated with yourself for procrastinating, but can't figure out why you even do it in the first place? Here I talk about the deeper reasons why you are likely procrastinating, what procrastination has to do with being a perfectionist (even if you don't think you are), and how to stop procrastinating.
In this talk, we're going to take deeper look at catastrophizing. Catastrophizing is when you either expect the worst to happen, or when an undesirable outcome happens, you think it's the absolute worst. Getting caught by this distorted thinking pattern will leave you feeling anxious, stressed, and can even make you feel depressed or full of self doubt. Sounds lovely, doesn't it? We're going to look more specifically at the two ways is shows up, and then go through the simple steps to overcome it so it can stop hijacking our mood, day or, [...]
Boundaries are an essential part of the health of your relationship with others and with yourself. You need clear and healthy boundaries in order to feel safe, comfortable and confident. You also need them to break through patterns of overfunctioning, people pleasing, overwhelm and resentment. If you've been trying to set boundaries, but they don't seem to be working the way you expected them to, it's likely because you haven't been setting them in an effective way, and/or sticking to them because you feel guilty. Here we're going to talk about all of that, [...]
Codependency is really common, and many people are in unhealthy codependent relationships, and maybe don't even know it. Here I talk about what codependency is, where it comes from and why this is an issue for so many people. Before being able to work through unhealthy behaviours, first we need to know what they are and where they come from. Insight first. Then constructive action.
You have thoughts, you have ideas, you have opinions, you have perspectives and you have preferences. Of course you do, everyone does. But where you're going to need boundaries around them is when somebody comes in and tries to violate or make you feel inferior for yours. These are called intellectual boundaries. You need these boundaries because without them others may continue to try and belittle you or make you feel small simply for having a perspective or an understanding that is different than theirs. What do these intellectual boundary violations look like? And [...]
Here we talk about what codependency is and I break down the 11 key symptoms to look for in ourselves, or in others. Codependency is one of the most common reasons people struggle to have healthy relationships. It often starts while growing up in a household where one or both parents had an addiction, substance abuse, or mental health issue. If you've even been too worried to speak up with your own wants, needs or preferences in a relationship because you think your partner will not like it and leave you, that's a really [...]
Material boundaries refer to your limits around your items and possessions like your home, car, clothing, jewelry, furniture, money, etc. It's important to take a moment and reflect on what you will or will not share, and how you expect your items and materials to be treated by the people you share them with. You also get to decide who you share what with. Also having boundaries on how your material items are treated is healthy and prevents resentment in your relationships. It's up to you to communicate where your boundaries are so others [...]
Struggling and dealing with depression is no joke. It is frustrating, exhausting, and can sometimes feel really hopeless. But what can often happen when we’re trying to figure out how to deal with depression is we end up doing things we think will make us feel better, but are actually making things worse. Many of the symptoms of depression make us want to stay home or in bed or maybe even isolate ourselves all day every day, but that’s just what the mental illness is trying to convince us to do so it can [...]
Have you ever wondered what it really takes to build self esteem and how to be confident? Why do some people seem to just have all kinds of self confidence, and some really struggle with it? It's tough issue for many, and we often think of it as something you either have or you don't. But the truth is, confidence is something that is built. The only way to get a confidence boost is to make intentional choices that build self confidence. There are little things all of us are doing everyday that cause [...]
Sexual boundaries are your right to have - even in a consensual sexual relationship. You get to decide what you are and are not comfortable with sexually, what feels good and what doesn't, what you're want and what you don't want, and you get to communicate all of those things anytime. You can also decide you are not comfortable with a sexual act at one point, and then decide later on that you are. You can also say you are okay with a sexual act, and then decide after that you are not. As [...]
You know those people who you just want to be around? Who draw you in and are just so darn likeable? Sometimes they are popular and charismatic, but not all of them are. Some are really grounded and understated. So the good news is, you don’t have to be the life of the party, or be the biggest extrovert or have an outgoing personality to have a lot of likeability. In this video I talk about 3 simple habits that naturally draw people close to us and make us magnetic. And the good news [...]
We often expect others to set our time and energy boundaries for us. We thing they should know how much is too much to ask, what's an appropriate or inappropriate request and what we should or shouldn't be able to do. But if they are different in their capacity for any of these things, they likely wouldn't even know where our boundaries are. In addition, we all also have time and energy boundaries - it's impossible not to have them. The issue is, our boundaries are further out than they need to be so [...]
Anxiety is one of those challenging things so many people struggle with these days - and the thing that makes it interesting is the typical ways most people try to cope with their anxiety symptoms are the same things that tend to them feel more anxious in the long run, and can even lead to mental illness or a more significant mood disorder. That said, if you are doing any of these, know that you are not doing them on purpose. None of us wants to struggle or suffer unnecessarily - especially when it [...]
Most people have the wrong idea about boundaries - they think boundaries will make them rigid, difficult or unkind. The exact opposite is true if you have HEALTHY ones. Healthy boundaries preserve and protect us and our relationships. Without them we can get into relationship dynamics of feeling resentful, angry, violated or unsafe. Because so few of us understand what boundaries actually are, we rarely see them working well. But when they do, it makes all the difference to your mental health and the health of your relationships. There are 6 types of boundaries [...]
People have the wrong idea about boundaries - they think boundaries will make them rigid, difficult or unkind. The exact opposite is true if you have HEALTHY ones. Healthy boundaries preserve and protect us and our relationships. Without them we can get into relationship dynamics of feeling resentful, angry, violated or unsafe. Because so few of us understand what boundaries actually are, we rarely see them working well. But when they do, it makes all the difference in your mental health and the health of your relationships. There are 6 types of boundaries you [...]
Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do so many of us get stuck in self criticism and negative self talk? Do we think that if we are hard enough on ourselves for any misstep, failure or imperfection that it will miraculously cause us to have better self esteem and self confidence? But the thing is, most of us don’t even realize how dangerous our critical self talk is. In fact, it can make our mental health struggles with anxiety and depression a whole lot worse, not to mention the extra pressure and [...]
Confidence is something most of us want at least a little more of, but it can be hard to know exactly how to build that confidence in a deep, meaningful and lasting way. Here I teach you 5 simple tweaks to how you are thinking and showing up everyday that will help you become immediately more confident. And the good news is, some of them are actually really fun. Deep lasting confidence isn't something only other people can have - it's something you can build too, and these 5 tweaks will get you well [...]
Who do you want to become? How do you want to transform yourself? Who do you need to be? These are just a few of the messages that sound positive on the outside, but in reality are damaging our self esteem, our self confidence, and our sense of self worth. And do you know why this is? It’s because of their implied message of shame. What they are saying is who you are now is not good enough. That you can’t be yourself and feel good about it. That how to build self confidence [...]
Feeling comfortable with yourself and confident in who you are is not always easy. It's all to easy to get stuck in thinking that we're not good enough in some way, or think other people are thinking negative things about us, or even, truly believe that we're fundamentally flawed in some way, and the only way to feel comfortable with ourselves is to become something or someone else. But the truth is, becoming more comfortable with yourself is not about changing who you are, it's about accepting who you are from the inside out. Here [...]
What is Mindfulness? Is it all about doing mindfulness meditations and mindfulness exercises? Or is it a way of being. A general attitude or outlook on life? And the answer is YES! It is both. Being mindful is just a fancy way of saying being present. And because most of us don’t spend much time actually being present, or brains don't always know how to do it on their own, which is why we have to practice it by being intentionally more mindful. In essence, mindfulness teaches us to slow down our brain, to [...]
Do you often feel like people zone out or seem completely uninterested in what you're saying? Do you often feel like you're not really being listened to? Are you confused why people ignore you so much? But what if it's because of something you may be doing? Having good and healthy relationships where we feel valued, seen and heard does contribute a great deal to our happiness, but when we're being ignored too much it has both a negative impact on our relationships, and on how we think and feel about ourselves. This is [...]