If I always think the way I have always thought,
I will always feel the way I have always felt.

If I always feel the ways I’ve always felt,
I will always do what I’ve always done.

If I always do what I’ve always done,
I will always get what I’ve always got.

If I always get what I’ve always got,
There is no change.

And if there is no change,
There is no change.


Some of the work that I do as a clinical counsellor is intervening on that first level: our thoughts. We can’t, or at least it’s darn near impossible, to change our feelings. Go ahead, try it! Next time you feel really upset or angry about something try telling yourself: “Don’t be mad. Don’t be mad.” I can almost guarantee you that you will not only not stop being mad, but you’ll likely end up feeling even MORE upset because you couldn’t make yourself stop feeling what you didn’t want to be feeling. Argh. That’s rough.

SO, as I was saying, depending on what the issue is that someone comes to therapy for, it often works really well when we get in there and use a tool called CBT and start working on challenging those pesky downer thoughts and giving them a bit of a run for their money, because, hey, who says that that initial and automatic and upsetting thought or perspective that comes into our heads in a given situation is the end all, be all, hard and fast truth? Well, if we don’t do anything about it, essentially, we are.