“They could say No.”
Doesn’t sound like too big of a deal, but to some, ok I guess to most, “no” is a really hard word to hear. When talking about boundary setting, we need to both give ourselves the freedom to say no and also allow others the same luxury. It can be really hard to hear no, especially if we’re banking on a yes. But maybe, just maybe, that person needs to say no more than we need them to say yes.
How to soften the blow of the no? Support networks i.e. more than one go-to person. If we can manage to gather and keep a few close and trusted confidants, the pressure is diminished for all parties involved. Meaning: if we go to one person for support and they honestly don’t have the capacity to give at that particular time, all is not lost, and we won’t be automatically left to deal with our feelings of sadness and doom all on our own. All one must do is go to the next supporter in ones roster and see if they have some available giving capacity. By enlisting a few, we give ourselves more capacity to hear no, and we give others more freedom to say no.