communication | Julia Kristina Counselling

Passive Aggressive Behaviour. What’s It All About?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:45-07:00November 26th, 2015|General|

Have you ever known someone who seems all nice and pleasant on the outside, but who you often go away from with a funny, uncertain, insecure or kind of ick feeling? You leave their presence asking yourself “what just happened? I feel all kinds of no good, but I can’t directly put my finger on what was said or done… all seemed pleasant on the surface, but something was just not right.” And then you start to question yourself and wonder if it’s you who’s being weird and not them. But I’m here to [...]

Comments Off

For Those Who Hate Boundary Setting – I Give You Boundary Setting Light.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:46-07:00October 15th, 2015|General|

Of all the topics people ask me to write or speak about, hands down the most common one is always something to do with boundary setting. Apparently it’s a big deal for most of us. And it can be a tricky one to master, or at least do somewhat well some of the time. And it’s true, communication in general is complicated. What can I say, we are complicated beings! And thank goodness for that. If we weren’t, my life would be boring and my borderline unhealthy obsession with all things psychology would be pretty [...]

Comments Off

The Dance.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:55-07:00April 3rd, 2013|General|

While doing a little spring cleaning on my I came across one of my favourite communication tools for identifying and resolving issues with others. It’s called the Awareness Wheel and it’s a great little diddy for identifying what’s really going on in a given situation and then working through the issue – especially with someone you are close to like a partner, parent, sibling, or close friend. We’re not always aware of what’s actually going on when in the crux of a conflict with someone (or even with ourselves) so using this tool can really [...]

Comments Off

Good for Me – Part Deux

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:56-07:00January 14th, 2013|General|

And now, as promised, here are: The Next 5 Things that Keep Us From Expressing Our Feelings. 6. Low Self-Esteem: You believe that others peoples needs, wants, and expectations are important and valuable, but yours, for some reason, are not. You spend much of your time trying to please others and meet their expectations but rarely, if ever, express your feelings or tell others what you want. *My question here is, if other people’s thoughts, opinions, and preferences matter, then why don’t yours as well? Is there really such a thing as some people being [...]

Comments Off

Putting Red to Good Use.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:00-07:00May 14th, 2012|General|

What am I angry about? What is the problem? And whose problem is it? How can I figure out who is responsible for what? When I’m angry, what do I need to say to clearly communicate my stance without becoming defensive or aggressive? As women, many of us have been taught to be ashamed of our anger and have thus not learned how to use it effectively or to our benefit. Many of us have pretty unproductive ways of expressing our anger, the common culprits being passive aggression, the silent treatment, or crumbling under a [...]

Comments Off

Straight Forward.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:02-07:00January 30th, 2012|General|

There seems to be a bit of a misconception with some of us that in order to be a “good” or “strong” person we must not react to upsetting interactions with others, be it friends, family members, roommates, coworkers etc. The whole idea of turning the other cheek - meaning that if someone slaps you across the face you are to turn and present the other cheek for them to continue their assault - doesn’t sit well or really actually make that much sense to me. If the alternative is to smack them back, then [...]

Comments Off

Gambling Problem.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:03-07:00October 17th, 2011|General|

Is there ever any point in avoiding an uncomfortable situation or conversation in the hope that it will just turn out the way we want it to? Or are we merely just kidding ourselves into simply prolonging the inevitable? I’m a bit stuck on this one. I just had a conversation with a woman who has been getting hot and cold messages from a love interest. This has been going on for several months now without resolve either way. It is causing her a great deal of confusion, and albeit some frustration, but what are [...]

Comments Off