Why Some People Irritate Us SO Much.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:43+00:00 May 12th, 2016|General|

  Why do some people irk, irritate, or get under our skin while others don’t? And furthermore, why do we find certain people so totally annoying while someone else may think that same person is perfectly fine? Well, I’m going to tell you, but you may not like it. It’s because Carl Jung (one of the grandfathers of modern psychology) found, through his lifetime of work and research, that the reason some people irritate us so much is because they embody something of ours called the Shadow Side.  The Shadow Side is the parts of ourselves we don’t like. The [...]

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Stop Trying To Be So Nice. It’s Making You Miserable.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:44+00:00 February 4th, 2016|General|

By nice, I mean trying so hard to always be pleasant, pleasing, lovely, happy, positive, only doing what other people want you to do, never speaking up for fear of ruffling any feathers, keeping yourself hidden and small behind what you think other people want or expect you of you… nice. Don’t get me wrong, I am a big advocate for treating others with kindness, care, and respect. Be considerate and thoughtful, yes. Only doing or saying or acting in ways we think other people want us to because we want, no we NEED them [...]

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How To Keep it Together – Even When You’re Really Pissed Off.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:47+00:00 July 26th, 2015|General|

Anger is quite a powerful little 5 letter word that means very different things to different people. For some, especially women, it is an emotion that is rejected or avoided at all cost and understood as evil, bad, or unacceptable. For others it is all too present and readily available to use to hurt, damage, or destroy – sometimes irreparably so. But anger is just an emotion. And like any emotion, it’s not really right or wrong, but what we do with it can either be used for either good or evil. For good, anger can help [...]

The BIG HURT.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:54+00:00 July 8th, 2014|General|

One day when I was in Junior High, seemingly out of nowhere I was targeted and forced out of the little posse of 12 year old girls that was my friend group. For some reason, to this day I still have no idea why, the leader of our little group of pre-teen girls decided she didn’t like me and didn’t want me in the group and was able to convince the others of the same (talk about an influential person! I hope she’s using her powers for good now). Anyway, I was out. I say [...]

State or Trait

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:54+00:00 June 29th, 2014|General|

Believe it or not, there is a pretty basic trait that you may not realize will really help to make you a much happier person. It’s the ability to be adaptable. And the good news is that even if adaptability doesn’t come naturally to you, it is something you can intentionally work on and learn to become more of. We all face different challenging circumstances and interactions on a daily basis and how we respond to these can vary greatly. Some of us buckle under the pressure of emotional discomfort and often find ourselves feeling hopeless or [...]

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The Dance.

By | 2017-05-21T16:05:55+00:00 April 3rd, 2013|General|

While doing a little spring cleaning on my I came across one of my favourite communication tools for identifying and resolving issues with others. It’s called the Awareness Wheel and it’s a great little diddy for identifying what’s really going on in a given situation and then working through the issue – especially with someone you are close to like a partner, parent, sibling, or close friend. We’re not always aware of what’s actually going on when in the crux of a conflict with someone (or even with ourselves) so using this tool can really [...]

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It’s Not You… It’s Me.

By | 2017-05-21T16:06:03+00:00 November 7th, 2011|General|

And this time, it’s true - At least according to Carl Jung (one of the grandfathers of modern psychotherapy). His theory suggests that we project the disowned (read: unappealing) aspects of ourselves onto others. Jung referred to this as our shadow archetype... don't worry I'm not going to go all psycho babble on you now. Basically, though, what he said is that the unfavourable qualities we react negatively to in others are really just our own issues that we do not identify with or recognize, but possess nonetheless. In other words: The things that bother, [...]

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In The Name of Love.

By | 2017-05-21T16:06:03+00:00 October 31st, 2011|General|

There’s an acronym in addiction treatment that people use to prevent relapse, but I think it’s an acronym everyone should know. HALT. It stands for Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. And it’s used as a self check-in when one is dealing with an urge or a craving to drink or use. The point is to ask oneself at that moment, “What am I really feeling? And what major need is not being met right now?” If we address and tend to this need, it’s almost certain that the craving will go away, and we will also [...]

Taming the Beast.

By | 2017-05-21T16:06:04+00:00 September 11th, 2011|General|

Anger is quite a powerful little 5 letter word that means very different things to different people. For some it is an emotion that is rejected or avoided at all cost and understood as evil, bad, or unacceptable. For others it is all too present and readily available to use to hurt, damage, or destroy – sometimes irreparably so. Anger, like most emotions, is not a bad or shameful emotion in and of itself. It can even be very appropriate and useful at times. Without anger as a motivator for action we might feel less compelled to fight [...]