We all want to feel good and be emotionally healthy – no surprise there! And often times feeling satisfied with who we are is simply the result of how we choose to act and react in any of the situations we face on a daily basis.
In the years I’ve been in practice as a mental health therapist I’ve worked with many men and woman in their healing, growth, and personal development process, and what I’ve found is there are a few key things many of them learn to do through our work together that really makes a positive impact on their personal happiness and well being.
There really is no secret to feeling good – just some key habits all of us can start doing.
So here are 6 Essential Things Emotionally Healthy People Make a Habit of Doing:
1. The Let Themselves Feel What they are Feeling – Without Judgment.
Often what makes us feel worse when we’re already feeling bad is telling ourselves we’re not allowed to feel what we’re feeling. Yes, sometimes we need to pull up our socks and give ourselves a bit of a pep talk and keep going, and sometimes we just need to let ourselves feel what we’re feeling – and feel it good before trying to “do” anything about it.
2. They Face their fears:
By avoiding the things that make us unnecessarily uncomfortable we reinforce the idea that we can’t handle discomfort. And the truth is, we are a lot more resilient and resourceful than we might think.
One of the most important things you can do is prove to yourself that you can handle and get through uncomfortable situations without anything truly bad actually happening.
Don’t like making small talk in social situations? Do it. Have an awkward conversation. What’s the worst that could happen? That person doesn’t want to be your bestie? Oh well, there are 6 billion other people in the world so likely someone else will.
Get anxious when flying? Yes, a lot of people do. But the more you avoid it, the harder it will be when you actually HAVE to get on a plane.
Don’t like giving presentations at work? Most people are in the same boat. But what’s the worst that could happen? Your colleagues could think “hmm… that wasn’t the best presentation ever.” Well, so what – they probably wouldn’t be able to do much better.
3. They Deal when Things Come Up in Their Relationships:
Yes, people piss us off. Yes, we piss people off. And it’s way easier to blame, deny responsibility or justify our own behaviour when someone tells us we’ve hurt or offended them in some way. But if we’re never willing to acknowledge that we may have done or said something hurtful we prevent ourselves from actually having close relationships because as we all know, people can’t feel close to us if they can’t talk to us.
4. They Allow Themselves to be Vulnerable:
Perfectionism tells us we need to feel, think, and behave in the utmost of mature and controlled ways all the time.
It tells us that if we ever feel out of control, uncertain or uncomfortable there’s something wrong with us, and we need to make sure no one else sees this side of us.
IF we always prevent ourselves from being vulnerable, yes, we may not ever fail, be rejected or feel embarrassed, but let me tell you, there are many things in life that are worth taking the risk for.
Perhaps things won’t turn out how you had hoped, but I’m pretty sure you’ll get through it. And hey, don’t forget there have been times (probably quite a few) when you have put yourself out there and things have actually worked out just fine.
“Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” — Nelson Mandela
5. They are Compassionate with Themselves:
Letting yourself say something silly, make a mistake, or mess up a little bit is normal. Emotionally healthy people know this and sometimes they reflect on and think about how they can prevent the blunder from happening again in the future, and sometimes they just allow themselves to laugh and say “oops, oh well” and move onwithout beating themselves up for not getting it right every time.
6. They Allow Themselves to Ask for Help:
You don’t get a medal or a cookie for getting through a major challenge all alone. And contrary to what you might be telling yourself (falsely) it’s not the weak ones who ask for help, it’s the strong ones.
As a therapist and person who sees her own therapist I KNOW how much courage it takes to say “I can’t (and am not meant to) do this alone. I need some help and support right now.” Ever wonder why there are 6 billion other people in the world?