“What’s the worst that could happen?” “They could say No.” Doesn’t sound like too big of a deal, but to some, ok I guess to most, “no” is a really hard word to hear. When talking about boundary setting, we need to both give ourselves the freedom to say no and also allow others the same luxury. It can be really hard to hear no, especially if we’re banking on a yes. But maybe, just maybe, that person needs to say no more than we need them to say yes. How to soften the blow [...]
As a counsellor I often find myself reading psychotherapy and mental well being books in order to help me learn and grow professionally. One of the perks of this part of my job is that what I learn through my research tends to rub off on me, thereby contributing to my personal growth and emotional wellness. Funny how... Over the past few weeks, I’ve been reading and writing about boundary setting because this is an issue that often comes up with clients so I thought it useful to learn and understand more. A couple weeks [...]
Anger is quite a powerful little 5 letter word that means very different things to different people. For some it is an emotion that is rejected or avoided at all cost and understood as evil, bad, or unacceptable. For others it is all too present and readily available to use to hurt, damage, or destroy – sometimes irreparably so. Anger, like most emotions, is not a bad or shameful emotion in and of itself. It can even be very appropriate and useful at times. Without anger as a motivator for action we might feel less compelled to fight [...]
Feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted because of putting everyone else’s needs before ones own has been a topic that has come up surprisingly frequently in my personal and professional life the past few weeks. As relational beings and perhaps more so for those of us who consider ourselves people pleasers, we often find ourselves feeling as though others’ well being and happiness is our responsibility to create, nurture, and maintain. Not only is this an incredibly ambitious undertaking, but in actuality, not humanly possible. Although sometimes it might be nice to have ultimate power and [...]