Do you find yourself tangled in intrusive thoughts that just won't let go? You're not alone. In this talk, I explore why common strategies like "just think positive," "let it go," or "get over it" often fail and can even make those pesky thoughts linger longer. We dive into five ineffective approaches, and why resisting these thoughts only gives them more power. But there’s a better way. Here I introduce Radical Acceptance, a transformative technique that helps you acknowledge and detach from unwanted thoughts without judgment. You'll learn five practical phrases to use when [...]

 Everyone needs healthy boundaries to build and maintain fulfilling relationships. Setting boundaries goes beyond just saying no—it means clearly communicating your personal limits, needs, and values in a respectful and assertive way. When you establish boundaries effectively, others are more likely to respect you, giving you a sense of freedom and helping you break free from people-pleasing and codependency. Healthy boundaries lead to balanced and supportive relationships, boost your self-esteem, and enhance your self-respect. They empower you to navigate conflicts with confidence and prioritize your own well-being, resulting in deeper and more meaningful connections. [...]

 Do you ever find yourself stuck in the exhausting cycle of comparing yourself to others? You're not alone. In this video, I delve into the reasons why comparison can be so damaging to your self-esteem and overall happiness. I'll share practical, actionable steps to help you break free from these harmful patterns and focus on your own unique journey. From recognizing when you're making comparisons to shifting your mindset and surrounding yourself with supportive people, you'll discover effective strategies to enhance your personal growth and well-being. Whether you're struggling with social media pressures or [...]

 Do you ever feel like you're never good enough? You're not alone—97% of people in a recent poll admitted they sometimes, often, or always feel this way. While it's a common struggle, it doesn't have to be your reality, and changing this mindset isn't as hard as you might think. In this video, we'll explore what "good enough" really means and how you might be setting unrealistic standards for yourself. We'll delve into how comparing yourself to others, chasing perfection, and waiting for external validation can keep you stuck in a cycle of self-doubt. [...]

 Feeling anxious, upset, or irritated but can't pinpoint why? It’s a common experience that can leave you feeling confused and overwhelmed. In this video, I’ll guide you through practical steps to help you identify 5 likely reasons you're feeling these emotions and find clarity, even when the cause isn’t immediately obvious. We'll explore how to tune into your body, and identify hidden stressors to help you tend to what you need and give you peace of mind. If you're looking for ways to handle those confusing emotional moments, this talk is for you!

 So many among us were taught to be nice in certain ways that may actually be both hurting and harming us. Many of these was can also be bad for our relationships. If you think that you're trying so hard to be nice, but also feel really overwhelmed, resentful, guilty, stressed or anxious, then there's a good chance that the ways you are being 'nice' need to change. In this talk, I'll show you ways you are being too nice that are not good for you, or really anyone else.

 In this talk, I dive into a self-assessment to help you determine for sure whether or not your are struggling with codependency. This quiz is designed to help you identify how codependency is affecting your daily life and relationships. Codependency can show up in various subtle ways—whether it's prioritizing others' needs over your own, feeling guilty for setting boundaries, or struggling with your sense of self outside of roles like being a partner or friend. As we walk through this quiz, you'll explore common experiences such as people-pleasing, fear of being alone, and self-sacrifice. [...]

 In this talk we dive into the connection between attachment styles and codependency. Attachment styles describe how we emotionally bond with others, often shaped by our early experiences with caregivers. However, when these attachment patterns become maladaptive, they can lead to codependent behaviours, creating unhealthy dynamics in relationships. In codependency, one person may rely heavily on the other for approval, validation, or emotional support—often rooted in insecure attachment formed in childhood. Today, we’ll go through a self-test with key questions to help you identify if you're experiencing codependent behaviours, such as struggling with boundaries, [...]

 You're going to learn how to have healthier, more fulfilling relationships by understanding the four attachment styles here in my latest YouTube talk. In this in-depth discussion, I explore the four key attachment styles: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant (also known as Disorganized), and how each one uniquely influences the way we connect with others. I’ll guide you through their defining characteristics, and the ways they impact our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in relationships — whether in love, friendship, or even at work. Are you wondering why you always seem to end up in [...]

 In this video, I uncover the 5 subtle signs of codependency that you may not even realize are affecting your life and relationships. Codependency is a behavioral pattern where you rely too heavily on others for emotional support, validation, and even your sense of self. It often means putting the needs, desires, or problems of others ahead of your own, leading to self-abandonment. These behaviours can be subtle and hard to recognize, but understanding them is the key to finding freedom, happiness, and peace. You'll learn how to identify if you're struggling with codependency [...]

 Have you ever wondered why some people seem more negative than others? In this video, we dive into the reasons behind persistent negativity, shedding light on how personal hardships like loss, relationship issues, or job stress can cloud someone's outlook on life. We also explore the impact of mental health struggles, such as depression and anxiety, which can create a persistent sense of sadness or hopelessness, making it difficult to maintain a more positive attitude. Physical health challenges can also play a significant role. For some, negativity even becomes a habit, ingrained over time [...]

 In this video, I walk you through 5 important ways to become an Emotional Adult—something that goes far beyond just age or life milestones. We start with the power of a growth mindset, exploring how believing in your ability to grow and adapt can change your entire approach to life’s challenges. I’ll guide you through the process of building self-awareness, helping you understand your emotions, recognize your triggers, and identify the fears that hold you back. Taking responsibility for your feelings and actions is another crucial step, and we’ll discuss how emotionally mature people [...]

 Just because someone is of adult age, it doesn’t mean they’ve reached emotional adulthood. It’s not about landing the ‘adult job,’ buying a house, or affording the finer things in life. True emotional maturity comes from within—learning to view situations and oneself from a more mature, grown-up perspective. In this talk, I teach what it really means to become an emotional adult and why it’s essential for a fulfilling life, and healthy relationships. We’ll look at the signs of emotional immaturity, the obstacles that can prevent emotional growth, and the steps one can take [...]

 In this video, I dive into how anxiety and excitement can feel the same in our bodies, but our thoughts make the difference between a pleasurable or unpleasant experience. Whether it’s a job interview, asking someone out, attending a social event, meeting new people, or giving a presentation at work, shifting our mindset can significantly reduce anxiety and using these 4 cognitive therapy based skills will change how we feel. Viewing these situations in the ways I teach in this talk will create new neural pathways in the brain that will also help prevent [...]

 In this talk, I dive into the one specific boundary that is necessary in order to break the cycle of people please. Healthy boundaries are essential for maintaining our well-being and fostering positive relationships. In this video, I explore why this type of boundary is vital, how it can protect you from overwhelm and burnout, and ways to effectively communicate and set it. Drawing on personal experiences and practical tips, I guide you through the process of recognizing when and where you need this type of boundary, how to establish it with confidence, and [...]

 Everyday we have a whole bunch of little stressors that show up. Even though each one of them by themselves might not be that big of a deal, when they go unaddressed time after time they add up to a lot of stress or anxiety that sits trapped in our bodies and causes overall nervous system disregulation. In this talk I teach you how to identify these little stressors and how to deal with each one of them in.just a few seconds. This will not only help you feel more calm and grounded in [...]

 Feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty? You're not alone! In this down-to-earth talk, we'll explore simple and effective ways to handle the unknown and stay calm and confident. Uncertainty can often cause a lot of anxiety, but it also holds the potential for growth, innovation, and unexpected opportunities. Whether you're dealing with personal challenges, work changes, or just the unpredictability of everyday life, this talk will give you the tools you need to navigate uncertainty much more easily.

 In this practical talk, we dive deep into three essential components of real self-confidence: self-efficacy, self-concept, and self-esteem. This talk will help you learn how your belief in your ability to succeed can shape your actions, decisions, and overall life trajectory. You'll also learn about the mental image you have of yourself, and how you describe your abilities, attributes, and overall identity. And finally, you'll learn the critical role of self-esteem. I give you practical tips on nurturing a healthy self-esteem, fostering self-respect, and appreciating your intrinsic worth. Whether you're looking to boost your [...]

 Are you feeling overwhelmed but can't quite put your finger on why? You might be overstimulated without even realizing it. In this video, we dive into the subtle signs that indicate your brain is on overload. From difficulty concentrating to feeling unusually irritable, we’ll explore the everyday cues your body and mind give you when they’re overtaxed by too much sensory input. Understanding and addressing overstimulation is crucial for maintaining your mental health and overall well-being. By identifying these signs early, you can take steps to create a calmer, more balanced you.

 It's easy to get offended when we take what someone does or says about us personally - but when we take a step back and look at things with more objectivity we can see that very little of what someone does or says is actually personal. So if what they are saying isn't actually personal, why does it bother us so much, and why do we get hurt, upset or irritated by it? In this talk we're going to look at why we often get offended so easily, and what we can do to [...]

 It's so easy to let ourselves get angry when someone does or says something unfair, unreasonable, unkind, unjust, or inconsiderate, or disrespectful. And, even though we may be justified in said anger, we have to ask ourselves whether it's worth letting ourselves disrupt our own peace with someone else's words or actions. We can address someone else's actions without letting ourselves get upset and reactive, and that requires us to take a step back and reflect on what we're letting ourselves get upset about, and how we want to address it (or not) in [...]

 When we're right in the middle of a difficult, painful, confusing or overwhelming time in our lives it can be really easy for our brains to convince us that this is the way things are always going to be, and we're always going to feel this way. When we're feeling anxious, confused, depressed, lonely, stressed, overwhelmed, or hurt it's really easy to think that that we're never going to get through it. The next time you're feeling this way, the two main words I teach in this talk will help you see that you [...]

 When we're feeling stuck and struggling: Feeling sad, hopeless, lost, confused, overwhelmed, anxious, stressed or hurt it can seem like we're always going to feel this way and things are never going to get any better... or we're not every going to feel any better. But the thing is, you have been through hard things before - you have FELT hard things before, and you have gotten through it. Nothing has necessarily gone wrong if things aren't always going, or feeling, right. And this is the part of your story where it feels hard, [...]

 There are certain things confident people make an intentional point NOT to do - because they know that if they allow themselves to do these things, it not only feels bad, but it also erodes their confidence. Becoming more confident is about choosing certain thoughts and actions that help to build your confidence, but it's also about steering clear of the things that will chip away at it.

 In this talk, we're diving into the mindset of confident people by exploring the 7 things you won't hear them say. Understanding these phrases and why confident individuals avoid them can help you boost your own self-esteem and feel more comfortable and confident in who you are. Instead of using these phrases, shift gears and focus on using empowering language that fosters growth, a sturdy sense of self, and resilience

 When we feel overwhelmed it's because we have more going on in our lives, and thus in our brains than we have to capacity to wrap our minds around or process. In our fast paces world - and with so many life activities and demands that many among us have, it is all too easy to get overwhelmed - to the point of either meltdown or blow up - or even to the point of a panic attack or an anxiety attack. Tuning into yourself when the overwhelm is starting to boil is key [...]

 If you have a brain that likes to overthink, know that you are not alone. The reason our brains tend to overthink so much is because they are trying to protect us in some way. The thing is, though, most of the things you overthink about are not actual threats to your safety - they are more likely threats to your ego. Or, if they could be threats to your safety (i.e. thoughts about something terrible that could happen) they are very unlikely to happen. In this talk I teach you 3 simple tips [...]

 Being in a relationship with an emotionally immature partner can be confusing, frustrating and hurtful. You may want to negotiate and work through issues in the relationship, or have honest conversations about your thoughts and feelings, but they either wont or they can't. So is the relationship a lost cause? Is there nothing you can do to build a deeper sense of openness, honesty and trust in the relationship? The answer is yes. There are ways you can approach your partner that increase the likelihood that they will learn to address and acknowledge their [...]

 Emotional immaturity is when someone can't recognize or control their emotions in an age-appropriate way. An emotionally immature partner shows a lack of depth and understanding about their emotions as well as their partners. This can be an emotionally immature man or an emotionally immature woman. Being emotionally immature puts a lot of stress and strain on the relationship leaving the other partner drained and emotionally depleted. If you've been struggling in your relationship because you can't seem to get on the same page as your partner, it might be because they are emotionally [...]

 Vancouver Clinical Counsellor talks about what happens within our brains when we talk to a trusted friend or professional about a problem, and why this often makes us feel so much better.