assertiveness | Julia Kristina Counselling

Good for Me – Part Deux

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:56-07:00January 14th, 2013|General|

And now, as promised, here are: The Next 5 Things that Keep Us From Expressing Our Feelings. 6. Low Self-Esteem: You believe that others peoples needs, wants, and expectations are important and valuable, but yours, for some reason, are not. You spend much of your time trying to please others and meet their expectations but rarely, if ever, express your feelings or tell others what you want. *My question here is, if other people’s thoughts, opinions, and preferences matter, then why don’t yours as well? Is there really such a thing as some people being [...]

Comments Off

Just A Sandwich.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:57-07:00October 1st, 2012|General|

The other day I was at a weekend training workshop for Complex Integration of Multiple Brain Systems or more simply put, CIMBS, and I had an interesting interaction with another counsellor that had nothing to do with the training we were doing. At this workshop we were provided with a lunch and this lunch consisted of soup and sandwiches – but not just any sandwiches, they were these little gourmet mini sandwiches and they were delightful. Anyway, shortly after lunch, when we were back in session, someone on the catering team came in and took [...]

Comments Off

Not a Four Letter Word

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:57-07:00September 17th, 2012|General|

Here’s a little more on assertiveness. Like I said, I’m a big fan of this one. Learning to be assertive is probably one of the most useful communication tools I can think of. It can strengthen our relationships, reduce stress from conflict or having to “suck it up”, and it generally just makes one a happier person. Part of being assertive is learning how to say no. For many of us, no is basically a four letter word, and we try to avoid it at all cost by employing elaborately worded maybe’s or a yes [...]

Comments Off

Standing Tall

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:57-07:00September 10th, 2012|General|

I talk a lot about assertiveness, because, let’s be honest, I’m a big fan, and unfortunately, many of us don’t put it to its good use as often as we could! In a nut shell, assertiveness is our ability to express our thoughts and feelings and assert our rights while also acknowledging and respecting the rights of others. It’s about being appropriately open, honest, and clear about where WE are at. People often confuse assertiveness with aggressiveness, which is when we express our feelings, preferences, and needs in a way that is disrespectful, inappropriate, critical, [...]

Comments Off

Beast Whispering 101

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:57-07:00August 27th, 2012|General|

Lately I’ve become quite fascinated with anger. I find myself reading and re-reading any and all information that comes across my path on the topic. I haven’t been intentionally seeking out literature or information on anger… not just yet anyway, but am finding the more I learn the more I want to know. Anger is one of those funny emotions. Not really funny ‘ha ha’, but more ‘ha, that’s curious, what’s this all about?.’ Many of us fear anger. For women, most of us were taught as children that good girls don’t show, let along [...]

Comments Off

Straight Forward.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:02-07:00January 30th, 2012|General|

There seems to be a bit of a misconception with some of us that in order to be a “good” or “strong” person we must not react to upsetting interactions with others, be it friends, family members, roommates, coworkers etc. The whole idea of turning the other cheek - meaning that if someone slaps you across the face you are to turn and present the other cheek for them to continue their assault - doesn’t sit well or really actually make that much sense to me. If the alternative is to smack them back, then [...]

Comments Off