personal responsibility | Julia Kristina Counselling

The Danger Of Taking On Other People’s Problems.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:42-07:00February 13th, 2017|General|

Have you ever found yourself ready to pull out your hair because “that person just won’t listen to my advice,” or because “don’t they see how much they are hurting themselves by doing that,” or because “I can’t fathom how someone could be so irresponsible – it’s just too much!” But getting all akimbo and kerfuffled like this is almost totally unnecessary. And we do it because we feel responsible for other peoples' problems. We feel like we have to solve their problem or their life for them. We feel like we can’t possibly let [...]

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6 Annoying Habits that Make People SO Hard to Be Around!

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:43-07:00May 19th, 2016|General|

The truth is, we all behave in ways that are less than becoming from time to time. But there are a few notable behaviours that some people exceed their quota on far too often making them not at all nice to be around. But since we really can't change the behaviours of anybody but ourselves, let's just go through the list to remind US to not be one of those people. Constantly Criticizing Picking people apart, judging, putting people down (even in subtle ways), or having something to say about people you know that’s not uplifting or flattering [...]

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Standing Tall

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:57-07:00September 10th, 2012|General|

I talk a lot about assertiveness, because, let’s be honest, I’m a big fan, and unfortunately, many of us don’t put it to its good use as often as we could! In a nut shell, assertiveness is our ability to express our thoughts and feelings and assert our rights while also acknowledging and respecting the rights of others. It’s about being appropriately open, honest, and clear about where WE are at. People often confuse assertiveness with aggressiveness, which is when we express our feelings, preferences, and needs in a way that is disrespectful, inappropriate, critical, [...]

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Between a Rock and a… Smaller Rock.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:04-07:00September 18th, 2011|General|

As a counsellor I often find myself reading psychotherapy and mental well being books in order to help me learn and grow professionally. One of the perks of this part of my job is that what I learn through my research tends to rub off on me, thereby contributing to my personal growth and emotional wellness. Funny how... Over the past few weeks, I’ve been reading and writing about boundary setting because this is an issue that often comes up with clients so I thought it useful to learn and understand more. A couple weeks [...]

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Two Four

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:04-07:00September 5th, 2011|General|

Feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted because of putting everyone else’s needs before ones own has been a topic that has come up surprisingly frequently in my personal and professional life the past few weeks. As relational beings and perhaps more so for those of us who consider ourselves people pleasers, we often find ourselves feeling as though others’ well being and happiness is our responsibility to create, nurture, and maintain. Not only is this an incredibly ambitious undertaking, but in actuality, not humanly possible. Although sometimes it might be nice to have ultimate power and [...]

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