Julia Kristina | Julia Kristina Counselling - Part 19

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So far Julia Kristina has created 563 blog entries.

In The Name of Love.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:03-07:00October 31st, 2011|General|

There’s an acronym in addiction treatment that people use to prevent relapse, but I think it’s an acronym everyone should know. HALT. It stands for Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. And it’s used as a self check-in when one is dealing with an urge or a craving to drink or use. The point is to ask oneself at that moment, “What am I really feeling? And what major need is not being met right now?” If we address and tend to this need, it’s almost certain that the craving will go away, and we will also [...]

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All Puffed Up.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:03-07:00October 25th, 2011|General|

This weekend I’m going to be giving a short speech, and I was asked by the event coordinator to provide her with a short bio about me to be read in my introduction. Now I felt a little funny writing about myself and the things I’ve done to get to where I’m at in my life and career until this point. I don’t know, maybe it’s because of the Scandinavian value of humility that’s been drilled into me since childhood, but whatever the reason, it felt weird so I reached out and asked a good [...]

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Gambling Problem.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:03-07:00October 17th, 2011|General|

Is there ever any point in avoiding an uncomfortable situation or conversation in the hope that it will just turn out the way we want it to? Or are we merely just kidding ourselves into simply prolonging the inevitable? I’m a bit stuck on this one. I just had a conversation with a woman who has been getting hot and cold messages from a love interest. This has been going on for several months now without resolve either way. It is causing her a great deal of confusion, and albeit some frustration, but what are [...]

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Stacked Team.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:03-07:00October 10th, 2011|General|

It seems so easy to focus on what we lack (in skill, ability, material possessions, intelligence, relationship status, etc.) – in fact most of us might consider ourselves experts in the practice. Why are we so good at dwelling on the shortcomings and at the same time sometimes struggle to see the goodness? Is it just human nature? Social conditioning? Parental modeling? Mass media marketing? Whatever the reason, most of us are darn near experts in the art of the ‘if only.’ In order to tip the balance a bit the other way, we have [...]

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Happily Ever After?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:03-07:00October 3rd, 2011|General|

The myth of romantic love as propagated by our culture is that we are destined to meet, fall in love, and live happily ever after with the one. This illusion first starts to take shape when were we children reading and watching fairy tales of beautiful princesses meeting and falling in love with their handsome princes. I think as adults all of us secretly hope or hoped that when we meet or met the right person, we would live happily ever after in perfect union and harmony, and since the match is perfect, we would [...]

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Pressure’s Off.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:03-07:00September 25th, 2011|General|

“What’s the worst that could happen?” “They could say No.” Doesn’t sound like too big of a deal, but to some, ok I guess to most, “no” is a really hard word to hear. When talking about boundary setting, we need to both give ourselves the freedom to say no and also allow others the same luxury. It can be really hard to hear no, especially if we’re banking on a yes. But maybe, just maybe, that person needs to say no more than we need them to say yes. How to soften the blow [...]

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Between a Rock and a… Smaller Rock.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:04-07:00September 18th, 2011|General|

As a counsellor I often find myself reading psychotherapy and mental well being books in order to help me learn and grow professionally. One of the perks of this part of my job is that what I learn through my research tends to rub off on me, thereby contributing to my personal growth and emotional wellness. Funny how... Over the past few weeks, I’ve been reading and writing about boundary setting because this is an issue that often comes up with clients so I thought it useful to learn and understand more. A couple weeks [...]

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Taming the Beast.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:04-07:00September 11th, 2011|General|

Anger is quite a powerful little 5 letter word that means very different things to different people. For some it is an emotion that is rejected or avoided at all cost and understood as evil, bad, or unacceptable. For others it is all too present and readily available to use to hurt, damage, or destroy – sometimes irreparably so. Anger, like most emotions, is not a bad or shameful emotion in and of itself. It can even be very appropriate and useful at times. Without anger as a motivator for action we might feel less compelled to fight [...]

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Two Four

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:04-07:00September 5th, 2011|General|

Feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted because of putting everyone else’s needs before ones own has been a topic that has come up surprisingly frequently in my personal and professional life the past few weeks. As relational beings and perhaps more so for those of us who consider ourselves people pleasers, we often find ourselves feeling as though others’ well being and happiness is our responsibility to create, nurture, and maintain. Not only is this an incredibly ambitious undertaking, but in actuality, not humanly possible. Although sometimes it might be nice to have ultimate power and [...]

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Crack Down.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:04-07:00August 28th, 2011|General|

When New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani embarked on his lofty mission to clean up New York City and tackle its infamously high crime rate one might be surprised to learn that his strategy did not really focus on going after the big time criminals. Instead he began literally cleaning up the city and cracking down hard on the small time offenders. By investing tens of millions into actually cleaning up and revamping the decaying and dangerous subway system he began to create a different expectation for New Yorkers. By ticketing and arresting small time [...]

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Don’t Make a Fuss

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:04-07:00August 21st, 2011|General|

For many of us while growing up one of the best days of the year was that one day where the whole world seemed to centre around us, and that day was the ever anticipated birthday. Often the day was filled with cake and friends, parties and gifts, and a general sense of being really special and significant. Then, for some reason, as we got older, usually shortly after leaving our teens or early twenties, the day became less and less special, anticipated, and remarkable... All of a sudden people stopped caring as much that [...]

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Alone in a Crowded Room

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:04-07:00August 8th, 2011|General|

The other day on CBC Radio One they were talking about teen depression and how it’s on the rise. Some stats say that approximately 20% of all teens will experience a major depressive episode before they reach their adult years. I find this information quite disturbing and it makes me wonder why? Why, in a nation where the majority of us have way more than anyone could ever want, let alone, need? Where we have freedom, food, and fresh water? Where we have education, elected government, and employment? Where we have safety, social services, and supermarkets? [...]

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What If the Shoe Doesn’t Fit?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:05-07:00July 31st, 2011|General|

There are countless discussions, arguments, and opinions out there in the psychology world about whether or not mental illness diagnoses are helpful or detrimental to the individual. I’m torn and I think that my official opinion is… It depends. One thing that I’ve come across in my work as a counsellor is clients who have told me about mental illness labels or diagnosis they have been given by said psychiatrist, psychologist etc. and the diagnosis itself has become a significant source of distress, and reason for therapy… especially if they believe the diagnosis is downright [...]

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Contagious People… Catching What They Have.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:05-07:00July 23rd, 2011|Psychotherapy|

In his national bestselling book TheTipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell dedicates a few pages to writing about types of people called “senders.” These types of people, he writes, “are those who are very good at expressing emotions and feelings, which means that [they] are far more emotionally contagious than the rest of us.” These are the types of people who, after spending some time in their presence, we can’t help but be greatly influenced by whatever energy they are sending out. I find I often notice it most when I am feeling blah, have an encounter [...]

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Below the Surface

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:05-07:00July 15th, 2011|Psychotherapy|

There's an idea out there in the psychology world that we create, to a large extent, how people treat us, and recently I've been finding myself thinking and philosophizing about this idea more than usual. Now obviously if we are rude and mean to someone most likely they will respond to us with anger or resentment... nothing profound there. And, sometimes friends, loved ones, and even complete strangers will be overtly rude to us for no apparent reason... I'm not saying we necessarily caused them to treat us in this way... sometimes people are just [...]

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Happy Canada Day!

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:05-07:00July 1st, 2011|General|

Today I have an extra opportunity to think about and reflect on why I am grateful to be Canadian. I am grateful to live in a country with an incredible health care system that takes care of me when I’m sick. I am grateful that when I enter any hospital from coast to coast , and when I need it most, I don’t have to worry about whether or not my insurance will cover me. I am grateful to live in a country with a police force that protects my safety and keeps the peace. [...]

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Picking Up the Pieces

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:06-07:00June 24th, 2011|Psychotherapy|

When we make choices that are obviously destructive and harmful – no matter how well we can justify them in the moment - they are more than likely to harm our bodies, our minds, and often our relationships, but also our psyches and our spirits. Bodies tend to heal more quickly, whereas the psychological repercussions of our choices are often longer lasting. It’s amazing to me how we can make a split second decision, and then be left to pick up the pieces for weeks, or months, or sometimes even years. Those who have used [...]

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The Vancouver Riot: Sense of the Senseless?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:06-07:00June 16th, 2011|General|

Here in Vancouver we are trying to wrap our heads around and understand what happened last night downtown Vancouver after the Stanley Cup Final hockey game. To say that it is absolutely disturbing, abhorrent, and shameful would be a serious understatement. What did happen? And why did it happen? I find myself thinking about our search for significance. Why would people set fire to cop cars and then proceed to jump on top of them and throw their hands up in the air in triumph? Why would people stand out in front of a crowd and hurl hard objects, taunts, [...]

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Let Them Eat Cake!

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:06-07:00June 10th, 2011|General|

Recently I came across some psychology literature that caught my attention. The author, well-known psychiatrist Scott M. Peck, points out that one of the most important skills we can teach our children, and also practice as adults is delaying gratification. By getting the pain over with first we set ourselves up to experience greater and more satisfying pleasure (Peck, 1978). He also talks about instilling this skill into our children as early as possible is imperative - one of the most important things we can teach them. In the Marshmallow Study (hilarious) we can see how even children who are [...]

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CCPA Annual National Conference 2011

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:06-07:00June 3rd, 2011|General|

On May 19th I had the honour of facilitating a professional workshop at the Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy's (CCPA) Annual National Conference in Ottawa. The presentation was on the topic of Bringing Religion and Spirituality into Therapy for both spiritual/religious and non-spiritual/religious therapists. I had a really wonderful time sharing my research and experience with a very engaged and intelligent audience, and I was really moved by the very thoughtful and meaningful questions and comments that were offered. My only regret is that we didn't have more time to discuss our thoughts and ideas with one another... I think if given [...]

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Scott Miller at the CCPA Annual Conference

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:06-07:00May 19th, 2011|Psychotherapy|

Yesterday I had the pleasure of once again hearing Scott Miller present. I won't go into too much detail about what he spoke about, but there was one thing that really stood out for me. He was giving a clinical example with a video of a case he was brought in to consult on. The individual he was called in to work with was a "very challenging case" - a man who had been receiving therapy and support primarily for his alcohol addiction for about 4 years. Now his mental health team was having a really hard time with this gentleman because they could not seem to convince [...]

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The Not-So-Hot Job Market

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:06-07:00March 9th, 2011|Career, General|

Some of the clients who I see come for career counselling and the most popular opening line they use is "I'd like to go to school to get training for a career that I will love, that will pay me well, that will give me flexibility, and that will guarantee me a good job by the end of it, and oh yeah, I don't want to go to school for very long. What do you recommend?" sigh. If there was such a thing I would not be working as a counsellor but sitting outside on a [...]

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Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:06-07:00October 22nd, 2010|General, Psychotherapy|

Last winter some colleagues and I made our way down to Anaheim California for the Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference. It was almost surreal when we received our workshop schedules a few weeks before the conference and I discovered many of the presenters were people who's work I'd been reading and studying for years. I know it sounds pretty dorky to those not in the psychology world, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little star struck. Okay, A LOT star struck. The highlight of the conference for me was definitely any and every presentation, workshop, discussion [...]

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