personal growth | Julia Kristina Counselling

3 Unintentional Habits that Are Killing Your Confidence.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:42-07:00January 19th, 2017|General|

Bad habits. Sometimes they are things we don’t even know we’re doing, but are having a negative effect on our self-confidence nonetheless. Now we could go on to hypothesize as where and why and where we picked up these bad habits in the first place, but we’ll save that for another day. For today, let’s just draw our attention to them, and make a concerted effort to get rid of them. Saying sorry all the time. Of course I’m not talking about apologizing if we’ve hurt, offended, inconvenienced, or upset someone (whether intentionally or not), but those [...]

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Why Getting Unsolicited Advice Often Feels Icky.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:43-07:00June 28th, 2016|General|

Have you ever wondered why it is that most of us think other people want, no NEED our advice and should absolutely do what we say and make the choices we can clearly see are best from them - but then when the tables are turned and they come to us and tell us what to do, or how we should live our lives or what choices WE must make, we get irritated, resistant, frustrated and feel like they "really don't know what they are talking about"? So we all want to give our golden, must-be-revered [...]

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Why So Much of the Self-Help Advice Doesn’t Work.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:43-07:00May 26th, 2016|General|

There is A LOT of mental health and self development advice out there and it seems like everyone is a personal growth expert these days. But the thing is, a lot of what people are telling us to do to feel happy, fulfilled and content in life is kind of useless. But not because of WHAT they are saying, but because of HOW they are saying it. And if you don’t know well enough how the human psyche typically works, you would have no idea that your advice, although true, probably won't make any kind of real difference. Here’s [...]

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6 Annoying Habits that Make People SO Hard to Be Around!

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:43-07:00May 19th, 2016|General|

The truth is, we all behave in ways that are less than becoming from time to time. But there are a few notable behaviours that some people exceed their quota on far too often making them not at all nice to be around. But since we really can't change the behaviours of anybody but ourselves, let's just go through the list to remind US to not be one of those people. Constantly Criticizing Picking people apart, judging, putting people down (even in subtle ways), or having something to say about people you know that’s not uplifting or flattering [...]

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Why Some People Irritate Us SO Much.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:43-07:00May 12th, 2016|General|

Why do some people irk, irritate, or get under our skin while others don’t? And furthermore, why do we find certain people so totally annoying while someone else may think that same person is perfectly fine? Well, I’m going to tell you, but you may not like it. It’s because Carl Jung (one of the grandfathers of modern psychology) found, through his lifetime of work and research, that the reason some people irritate us so much is because they embody something of ours called the Shadow Side. The Shadow Side is the parts of ourselves we don’t like. The [...]

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Why You Get Super Stressed Out & Sometimes Lose Your Sh*t.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:43-07:00March 29th, 2016|General|

Have you ever witnessed that classless human being at Starbucks who yells or snarks at the barista for putting whole milk in their 1% latté? Or the crazed maniac who gets cut off in traffic and then lays on their horn, rolls down their window and screams totally appalling words at the hurried perpetrator? Or the sub-par parent who yells and their child in the grocery store line up for whining about not getting to eat every single chocolate bar on the stand in front of them? Okay, truth time. Have you ever been [...]

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An Important Reason You May Be Procrastinating (You’ve Never Heard this One Before).

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00March 3rd, 2016|General|

Procrastination is a thing. It’s a big thing. For a lot of people. Not just for lazy, unmotivated, irresponsible people. In fact, in my experience as a therapist and working with hundreds of smart, successful, accomplished men and women, procrastination does not discriminate. And for those of you who have ever researched why people typically procrastinate, you know already that it’s often a by-product of perfectionism (that too is a thing. A big thing. For a lot of people). If you’ve not heard this before, I’ll explain briefly before I continue. Perfectionism and procrastination. Perfectionists [...]

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Why We Get Overwhelmed and Frustrated in Our Closest Relationships.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00February 25th, 2016|General|

For those of you who have ever felt any resentment toward anyone (aka all of us), have you ever wondered why you've felt that way? I mean really thought about why you were feeling resentful toward that person? Often, we think the reason we feel resentment is because other people ask too much of us, or cross our boundaries, or make us feel guilty, or don't do what we want them to do or think they should do. But we get resentful for another reason. And we’ll get to the that, but first, let’s talk [...]

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Stop Trying To Be So Nice. It’s Making You Miserable.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00February 4th, 2016|General|

By nice, I mean trying so hard to always be pleasant, pleasing, lovely, happy, positive, only doing what other people want you to do, never speaking up for fear of ruffling any feathers, keeping yourself hidden and small behind what you think other people want or expect you of you… nice. Don’t get me wrong, I am a big advocate for treating others with kindness, care, and respect. Be considerate and thoughtful, yes. Only doing or saying or acting in ways we think other people want us to because we want, no we NEED them [...]

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A Hard Truth You Need to Hear.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00January 21st, 2016|General|

And it’s going to be hard for different people for different reasons. This might be a little harsh, and if it makes you uncomfortable, it’s probably a good thing – it means you need to hear it. We’re just going to jump right in, so here it goes: No one is better than you and you are not better than anyone else. For some of you, that may be relieving, for others uncomfortable. So let me explain: We all have our strengths, gifts, talents and abilities that we bring to the table in any of [...]

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3 Surprising Things that Will Make You Happier.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00January 14th, 2016|General|

You’ve heard them all before. The things you need to do to become happier. Things like be grateful, count your blessings, do things you enjoy, surround yourself with positive people, find the silver lining in every challenging situation. And so on and so forth. Not knocking those. No, not at all. They are all GREAT things to do and they will make a significant impact on your level of overall happiness. And who doesn’t want to be happier? Aren’t we all, at some point or another, searching for the magic formula that will rid us [...]

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How to Keep Yourself From Ever Being Disappointed.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00January 10th, 2016|General|

Ever been disappointed? THAT was a dumb question. So, as you know, it feels awful. And I’m going to go as far as to say that deep disappointment is probably one of the worst feelings ever. But not to worry, right here, right now, I’m going to tell you what you need to do to never feel disappointed again. You must never try anything new, do anything daring, take any risks, pursue any of your dreams, go for any of your big goals, or start any new relationships. On second thought, just to be sure, [...]

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Modern Family Just Put My Knickers in a Twist.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:45-07:00December 10th, 2015|General|

Modern Family is one of my favourite sit-coms on TV right now. It’s one of the few shows that makes me laugh out loud many times each episode. I find it to be the perfect blend of humour and heart warm, and every time I try to choose a favourite character, I really can’t. I love them all! But just recently I was watching one of the latest episodes where at the end, the character Jay who is the hard-on-the-outside-soft-on-the-inside patriarch of the whole family, did something I fundamentally disagree with. In his attempt to motivate [...]

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Who the Hell Do You Think You Are?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:45-07:00December 3rd, 2015|General|

The other day I was with a client and we were working through some self-worth and self-esteem issues. The struggle was big and the struggle was real. And it was mostly due to the laundry list of criticisms and condemnations they had about themselves regarding all the things they believed they were not. And it got me thinking: How many of us find ourselves all caught up in our heads more often than that which is necessary (necessary meaning pretty much never) regarding all the things we’re not, but wish we were. How often do [...]

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The Importance of Fun. Any Why it’s NOT Optional.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:45-07:00November 17th, 2015|General|

We are generation always-looking-for-balance (whatever that means), and many of us don’t do such a great job of creating it all the time. Yes, work is important, but not the most important – contrary to common practice (I’m not going to say belief here, because I think most of us would agree that work is NOT the most important thing in life, although many of us often treat it as though it is). But there are actually 3 aspects of life we MUST be investing in if we have any hope of being [...]

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Feeling Guilty for Not Finishing Something You Started? Here’s What You Need to Do.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:46-07:00September 20th, 2015|General|

How many of us have ever started a recreational project, activity, or hobby only to leave it haphazardly abandoned somewhere along the way? And then find its said incompleteness hanging heavily over our heads and haunting us to no avail? And some days we even find ourselves lying in bed thinking “dang nabbit! Another day went by and I didn’t pick up that guitar that’s become a dust mite paradise over in the corner, or sign up for part 2 of that French course I started 3 years ago, or put the finishing touches on the [...]

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How To Keep it Together – Even When You’re Really Pissed Off.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:47-07:00July 26th, 2015|General|

Anger is quite a powerful little 5 letter word that means very different things to different people. For some, especially women, it is an emotion that is rejected or avoided at all cost and understood as evil, bad, or unacceptable. For others it is all too present and readily available to use to hurt, damage, or destroy – sometimes irreparably so. But anger is just an emotion. And like any emotion, it’s not really right or wrong, but what we do with it can either be used for either good or evil. For good, anger can help [...]

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5 Things I Wish I’d Known in High School (but am glad I know now).

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:48-07:00July 12th, 2015|General|

I’m not a big fan of living in the past, regretting the past or punishing myself incessantly for things I may have done or not done in the past. But there are certain things that would have been nice to know (or to have really understood) back in high school. I think if I had, I probably could have saved myself from a lot of self-doubt, hurt, and frustration. But the good news is we can know these things now. And be grateful we are learning and applying them today instead of 10 years from today. It also [...]

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The 4 Best Things that Come From Being Depressed.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:51-07:00April 10th, 2015|General|

It hasn’t actually been proven yet why some people thrive in the face of adversity while others really seem to struggle. It could be genetics, experiences you had during your more formative years, the amount of social support you had while growing up, or just plain coincidence. I think it’s safe to say, however, that most of us have felt depressed at one time or another, and some have experienced depression in a way that is quite a bit more serious and lasts a lot longer than the average person. No matter who you are or where you [...]

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The BIG HURT.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:54-07:00July 8th, 2014|General|

One day when I was in Junior High, seemingly out of nowhere I was targeted and forced out of the little posse of 12 year old girls that was my friend group. For some reason, to this day I still have no idea why, the leader of our little group of pre-teen girls decided she didn’t like me and didn’t want me in the group and was able to convince the others of the same (talk about an influential person! I hope she’s using her powers for good now). Anyway, I was out. I say [...]

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Risky Business.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:00-07:00May 7th, 2012|General|

Contrary to popular belief, vulnerability is not, nor is it a sign of, weakness. If we think about it, most of us would agree that it takes a whole lot of courage to be vulnerable, so it could be said that courage and weakness are actually near opposites. Being vulnerable is a risk. It means being exposed and being honest, and the outcome is often uncertain. However, vulnerability is the birthplace of change. It’s really hard to explore ourselves and experience growth within ourselves and within our relationships with others if we’re not willing to [...]

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