I’m not always sure if it was society, or parents, the media, or the kid down the street who told us we need to be someone we’re not in order to be good enough, worthwhile or have any value as human beings. Wherever it came from, it’s not nice. And how it has translated in to adult hood is by cultivating a breed of individuals who believe they need to be perfect, beyond reproach, always on the top of their game, who never show signs of having limits, emotions or boundaries and never have any problems of their own. Yikes! But you would be surprised by how many people actually believe this to be true. People who feel awful, horrible, or worthless if they, heaven forbid it, ever make a mistake, or worse yet, encounter any set backs or failures. People who, if they accidently show any sign of sadness or fear, feel it necessary to apologize profusely or give some big explanation as to why they showed any signs of being human. I just can’t figure this one out. Who told us we need to be perfect, the best, and have it all together all the time? And whoever it was, how come they have the authority to make us buy in to it all and believe these things without question? It’s a stumper.
So what I propose is instead of trying harder to be perfect, we work harder on being courageous. But I have to say, this type of courage can be really really hard to find and we might have to dig extra deep inside us and clear away a lot, I mean A LOT of muck to uncover this specific courage, but the good news is it’s already there in all of us. This particular type of courage is about finding and embracing the courage to be imperfect. The courage to say I am emotional, deep, feeling, apt to fail, prone to make mistakes, I sometimes accidently say things I don’t mean, I don’t always know how to make everyone happy, and I may not always feel like being the hardest worker in the office and picking up everyone else’s slack. And guess what??? THAT’S OKAY!
I’m not saying this as a Carte Blanche to become lazy, useless, caulis and uncaring – because goodness knows that’s not going to bring us any sense of joy, peace, and fulfillment either. But I am saying this so that we can learn to let ourselves be human, to be ourselves, to get over the lie that I need to be a super human in order to be worthy of love, life, and happiness. To allow ourselves to sometimes just say “Oops! Oh well. I am human and I am not perfect,” without then punishing ourselves with 7 years of harsh self-criticism and a truck load of emotional beratement.