Here I talk about what Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is and why, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT the Power of Positive Thinking. Have a Mental Health or Personal Wellness Topic you'd like me to cover in a video? Feel free to leave your suggestions or questions in the comments section below
I’m not a big fan of living in the past, regretting the past or punishing myself incessantly for things I may have done or not done in the past. But there are certain things that would have been nice to know (or to have really understood) back in high school. I think if I had, I probably could have saved myself from a lot of self-doubt, hurt, and frustration. But the good news is we can know these things now. And be grateful we are learning and applying them today instead of 10 years from today. It also [...]
It donned on me part way through the day that because this past Wednesday was Canada day, the work week seemed to just slop by before I realized I had yet to write my weekly Good for Me article. Now of course no one is forcing me to write one post each and every week – and I’m sure those of you who are waiting with baited breath for the moment I push the publish button are few and far between, but I made an unspoken commitment to myself to post one original article per [...]
I’m going to come right out and say it: I’m weird about sleep. And have been as long as I can remember. I think this is partly because as a child, I’ve been told, for some reason I had difficulties falling asleep and this must have carried on more-or-less in to adulthood. Now I’m not sure if this issues is a case of the chicken or the egg. I don’t know if I have problems falling asleep because I’m worried about whether or not I’m going to get enough sleep, or if it just takes [...]
Do you ever have times when everything can be going great and then one little bad thing will happen it’s ALL you can think about? It’s as if all that was going well up until that point gets completely wiped out because of this one tiny flaw. But what about the flip side? Does the same ring true? When everything is going terrible and one little good thing happens, do we allow this one small positive occurrence to take over and sweeten the unpleasant situation? Do we let it come in and trump all of [...]
Here’s a question for you: Who do you envy? Now ask yourself: Why do you envy them? And although this is quite an uncomfortable question to ask, it’s actually quite an important one because it can really help you know yourself better. Envy toward something someone else has tells us about something we wish we had. And when we know what that thing is, we can ask ourselves if there’s a way we can have it too. Envy can show us something that’s missing from our lives, or make clear to us some kind of [...]
There’s an old teaching tale that goes something like this: Two villagers were talking one day about how each of them wanted to become wealthy. Both agreed that in order to consider themselves wealthy they would need to somehow acquire a relatively large pile of coins. One of the villagers decided he would not change anything about his life, but rather spend his days sitting at home by the fire hoping a pile of coins would suddenly appear on his doorstep, and occasionally complain about why he wasn't getting what he wanted. The other villager decided [...]
It can be really hard to feel good when it seems like everything (or even just a few key things) in your life are not going well. And we all have struggles, and we all go through hard times. That’s normal and there’s nothing wrong with that. But there are also times when we make things a lot harder for ourselves than we need to. Very rarely is life perfect. And on the flip side, very rarely is life absolutely awful (even if there are moments when it feels like it is). And if you [...]
I recently read an article by one of my favourite writers – Jeff Haden and it really got me thinking (I love it when good writing does that!) Now, I wholeheartedly recommend reading this article for yourself, because, in true Jeff Haden fashion it’s interesting, inspiring, informative, and a really enjoyable read. But if you’re a little more pressed for time, I’ll give you the quick rundown. The article talks about the one question every (professionally) successful person asks him or herself. He basically explains that we’ve all failed, been looked over for promotions, haven’t [...]
We all want to feel good and be emotionally healthy – no surprise there! And often times feeling satisfied with who we are is simply the result of how we choose to act and react in any of the situations we face on a daily basis. In the years I’ve been in practice as a mental health therapist I’ve worked with many men and woman in their healing, growth, and personal development process, and what I’ve found is there are a few key things many of them learn to do through our work together that really [...]
Whenever I get the chance (which is pretty rare with 2 small children) I head over to my neighbourhood Yoga Studio for my favourite Kundalini yoga class. It’s the one exercise class I never have to talk myself in to going to and this is why: It’s basically a full-on dance party in the dark. Picture it: 100 + men and women in stretchy pants dancing completely sober on their yoga mats. And the best part of it all is because it’s a late evening class and all the lights are turned out you can [...]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SIl7SAfo-Y In this video I share an easy to understand explanation of what CBT is, how it works, and why it's effective in treating Anxiety, Depression, Low Self-Esteem and Chronic Stress.
1. Make Yourself a Priority. No, it’s not ALL about you, but No it’s not NEVER about you. Your needs matter and other people’s needs matter. But remember when I said your needs matter? It’s up to you to value yourself, take care of yourself and, set your own healthy boundaries for yourself – it’s not anyone else’s responsibility. And if you don’t consider yourself in any of the equations, you’ll likely find yourself feeling exhausted, run down, bitter and frustrated – and that’s no good. I'll use one of my favourite metaphors to illustrate this [...]
The truth is, we all behave in ways that are less than becoming from time to time and sometimes we’re aware of our unflattering behaviours and sometimes we’re not. No one’s perfect and that’s okay. But there is a line between having the oddmoment, and being a down right unappealing person to be around. And if you want others to really enjoy your company and like being around you as much as possible here are 6 behaviours you may not want to exceed your quota on too often. Constantly Criticising Others Picking people apart, judging [...]
“We have two ears and one mouth. This is so we can listen twice as much as we speak.” –Aboriginal Wisdom Ahh communication. When we hear the word communication, the first word that usually comes to mind is ‘talking’. But that’s only the half of it. The other half is listening and that part often gets forgotten. And believe it or not, being a good listener is often more crucial to being an excellent communicator than talking. Most people can talk relatively well, but very few actually listen well. If you really want to stand [...]
In this video I walk you through a short deep breathing exercise you can do anytime and any place. It's really simple to do and literally only takes about a minute. It's amazing how just taking a moment to intentionally breath effectively can help us feel immediately more calm, relaxed, and grounded. Enjoy!
I’m not really a quotes type of person – meaning I typically don’t go seeking them out. But I do a lot of reading on psychology, mental health, wellness, and personal development and every once and awhile, something someone has written will just seem to jump out and smack me across the face. I usually take this as a sign that I really must be meant to hear what’s being said so I try to make a habit of writing these little doozies down. Here is my list of both the most recent and most [...]
It hasn’t actually been proven yet why some people thrive in the face of adversity while others really seem to struggle. It could be genetics, experiences you had during your more formative years, the amount of social support you had while growing up, or just plain coincidence. I think it’s safe to say, however, that most of us have felt depressed at one time or another, and some have experienced depression in a way that is quite a bit more serious and lasts a lot longer than the average person. No matter who you are or where you [...]
How much people feel loved mostly depends on how they are being loved. According to Gary Chapman (1995) there are 5 love languages, and if you want your partner or anyone else you care about to feel and appreciate the love you’re giving them you’re going to want to learn what their dominant love language is. You might be saying to yourself right now, “I do things all the time to show my partner I love them.” Okay, but do you always feel that your efforts are as appreciated, and recognized, and valued as you’d [...]
When I hear something once, I listen closely. When I hear something twice, I take note. When I hear something 3 times in one week, I take it as a sign that something bigger needs to be done. And this is it. Last week, in my practice I was told on 3 separate occasions by 3 separate clients about how they are feeling discouraged, disillusioned, disgruntled and disappointed with their bosses because they've been working really hard and their bosses don't actually seem to notice. They feel they've been pushing hard, giving extra, and going above [...]
I’d say it’s safe to say most of us like being liked. And there are times when maybe we’re not so sure how liked we are and would perhaps like to be a little more liked. I mean really, who doesn’t want to be on the top of the invited-out-for-lunch group at the office? Or the person getting ample calls, texts and emails with requests for weekend plans? Of course, some people are just more likeable by nature – usually those who have a more easygoing or optimistic personality. That said here are some pretty [...]
Well, yes and no. But I’m inclined to think from what I’ve been hearing and reading lately it’s more of a yes. I’m not exactly sure how I'm defining successful here but the more time I spend reading posts on LinkedIn and other business and entrepreneurial type publications the more I keep coming across articles written by those – somewhat semi-famous in their fields -- about how they achieved their major career successes. What I’d been looking for to motivate and inspire I found was often leaving me feeling discouraged and frustrated. This is because [...]
It feels good to feel good. That’s not new ground-breaking information. I know. But many of us look at people who seem to feel good and have it more or less together more or less of the time as being special kinds of people that we could never be. But the truth is, they’re not that special (sorry guys). They’ve just learned, implemented, and intentionally practiced some really healthy perspectives, attitudes, and behaviours that are actually not all that complicated, and do wonders for building and maintaining positive self-esteem and happiness. So here are a [...]
Anxiety is normal – and all of us have felt it to a certain degree at some point – some more than others, but knowing this doesn't exactly make it all that much more pleasant or enjoyable. What we know about anxiety is that it often comes from fear. The fear of something that could or might happen in the future regardless of how likely or realistic it is. But when we're in the middle of feeling that fear, it seems veryreal and actually quite likely to occur. And then sometimes we don’t even know [...]
We are somehow becoming a society of people who believe, promote, and encourage the idea that if we want to be seen as successful, worthwhile, and valuable human beings we need to be perfect in every way. For one reason or another there's the idea out there (and in here) that in order to feel really good about who we are we need to be outstanding, awe-inspiring, limitless, totally beyond reproach, and flawless. To say the least. Now that is a LOT of pressure. Trying our darndest to prove to ourselves and others we are [...]
Further to our last discussion in and around freedom of Expression found here and here, I received some really thoughtful feedback on my blog, here on LinkedIn and also in my personal email inbox. One such reflections that came to my inbox, so was thus not shared publicly, was from my dear Auntie Ruth Blaser. Ruth is such a deep, thoughtful, and passionate person who dedicates her life to the acceptance. love, advocacy, and inclusion of others in many different realms, and is an inspiration and role model to many. Here is what she had to [...]
Are there, or should there be limits to free expression? Does having freedom mean we are exempt from being responsible for ourselves and for how our words - both spoken and written - and created images affect others? In an interesting article found here the Pope says states that freedom of speech is a fundamental human right and we have a duty to speak up for the sake of the common good. But what if what we're saying is not for the common good? What if it's actually to shame, ridicule, insult, and put down [...]
When is the best time to give advice? And the answer is… never. And by never, I mean not ever. Unless, of course, we specifically ask the person if they are looking for our thoughts or suggestions regarding their troublesome situation, AND they reply “yes!” or they explicitly request our advice (but even then the person rarely actually wants your advice – they just want you to fix their problem for them which, of course, none of us can actually do). You see, many of us believe in earnest that we are the experts on [...]
Back in the mid-nineties when New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani embarked on his lofty mission to clean up the Big Apple and tackle its infamously high crime rate, one might be surprised to learn that his strategy did not focus on going after the big time, hardened, or most dangerous criminals. Instead, he began by literally cleaning up the city. He did this by installing thousands more public garbage cans, restoring many run down historical buildings, removing an exorbitant amount of graffiti, and cracking down hard on more minor violations and small time offenders. [...]
In his runaway bestselling book TheTipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell writes about a certain type of person he calls “senders.” These people, he writes, “Are those who are very good at expressing their emotions and feelings [in a positive and uplifting way], which means they are far more emotionally contagious than the rest of us.” These are the types of people who, after spending some time in their presence, we can’t help but absorb, take on, and be influenced by the energy they are sending out. Have you ever been feeling kind of blah and then [...]