There are those who have an internal locus of control and those with an external locus of control. When you understand and implement the locus rule it will show you how to change your life and be happier, have more fun and be more fulfilled in life.
This talk on my channel, @Julia Kristina Counselling, is about the difference between being an empath and being co-dependent. Although two can be related, someone who experiences codependency isn't necessarily someone who is more empathic and vice versa. Here we're going to talk about the key difference between being and empath and being codependent and what if you experience both, what will help you be a caring, sensitive person without the struggles that come with relating to others in a co-dependent way.
Although it often feels better to have a positive mindset vs a negative one, there is a dark side to trying to think, be and act positive all the time. Being too positive can make you feel worse if it's done in order to repress, deny or avoid other feelings may need to be experienced, and there is a danger in being too positive because part of being human means it's also okay to sometimes feel awful.
Catastrophizing - i.e. expecting things to go bad, is a type of cognitive distortion that can lead to all kinds of anxious and depressed feelings. In this video, I teach some CBT tools to help you stop this thought error and start thinking in ways the will make you feel a lot better.
Join me for this life changing talk on Ways to Build Resilience with one of the 10 most influential psychologists of our time, one of the creators of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), and a brilliant, world changing mind, Dr. Don Meichenbaum. Here are the Free Resources Dr. Meichenbaum mentioned in the interview: The Roadmap to Resilience: https://roadmaptoresilience.wordpress.com/ The Melissa Institute: https://melissainstitute.org/covid-19/
Both social anxiety and feeling socially awkward can be frustrating when all we want is to feel comfortable being ourselves no matter where we are or who we're with. The catch 22 is, the more we try to stop coming across as socially awkward or socially anxious, the more of them we become because we're trying too hard to be someone we're not. In this talk I share with you several mindset shifts to help you feel more confident in who you are right now, and worry less about what other people may be thinking [...]
Here are 5 effective conflict resolution techniques. Conflict is a part of life and can't always be, and shouldn't always be avoided. Although conflict is often uncomfortable, learning how to manage conflict, and manage ourselves within it will make it a lot easier to deal with. The next time you're not seeing eye to eye with someone - instead of blaming, getting defensive, or getting angry and worked up - try some of these strategies.
Many of us went through difficult or painful things in our childhood that we may not realize have had a negative impact on us as adults. Although these weren't necessarily severely traumatic experiences, there are still many ways that your childhood affects your lifestyle and ways your childhood is affecting you now. These harmful experiences in childhood can lead to thing like self-abandonment, emotional enmeshment, people pleasing, being emotional disconnected from yourself or others, identity struggles, or unhealthy relationship patterns... to name a few. And here we're going to learn what some of those experiences [...]
We all have an ego - and if left unchecked, it will get in our way and hold us back. Many people have asked me what the ego is, how to know if your ego is running your life even if you're not full of yourself. In this talk I teach about what the ego is, how it shows up and how to start doing ego work.
If you often lose your motivation and quit things shortly after you start, and as a result, often feel discouraged and disappointed in yourself, this video's going to help. This talk is going to help you stay focused and working toward the things most important to you.
In this talk we go deeper into talking about ego and ego fear and how most of our fear is not about an actual threat to our safety, but about a threat to our ego. This ego fear can result in a lot of self-sabotage and unnecessary struggle that can be dealt with simply by learning how to manage the ego.
This video is part 3 of my 3 part series on ego work. Most of the time, when we're getting emotionally triggered it's because our ego is feel threatened and so it gets defensive. This triggered defensiveness can show up in many different ways and in this talk I give 7 different ways our ego shows up to try and protect us when we're feeling vulnerable or defensive and what we can do to manage the ego so the ego doesn't control us.
Negative thoughts. Everyone has them - at least some times. And the one thing they all have in common is that they leave us feeling terrible. In this video, we're going to use some CBT skills to stop those unhelpful thoughts when they show up and try to take you down so you can like yourself and your life more every day.
It can be really hard to make an effective apology if we've never learned how to do it. And as hard as it can be to put the ego aside and take personal responsibility when we've wronged someone, it is so freeing when we can own our mistakes, and then make a proper apology. Here I teach the properly apologize in 3 steps and 2 common mistakes most people make when they apologies that essentially makes the apology unhelpful.
There are so many things we've learned to feel bad about that are completely unnecessary, and feeling bad about them both serves no purpose and can also be harmful to us and hold us back in our lives.
Feeling anxious when life is good and things are going well. It's like the anxiety comes out of nowhere and ruins the whole happy vibe you've got going on. Here I'm going to talk about why we worry when things are good and then wait for something to go wrong, instead of just enjoying feeling good. You're also going to learn some tools to give you anxiety relief.
Most people experience intrusive, invasive, anxiety provoking thoughts at some point or another. Nonetheless, it can be really disturbing and distressing when it happens - especially when you don't know how to make it stop, and when you do try to make it stop, you often end up making it worse. Here I'm going to teach you how to stop your intrusive thoughts and both retrain and then rewire your brain to be more calm when intrusive thoughts try to throw you off.
Breathing exercises are a really effective way to relieve stress & anxiety, and in this video I tell you what happens in the brain when we focus on our breath and why it's such an effective way to relieve anxiety. Then I walk you through my favourite 4-7-8 breathing exercise.
Don't let things get to you. It sounds easy, and it is, if you know how to work with your brain instead of against it when something is bothering you. Here we're going to talk about Mental Adaptability and how this simple practice will help you be more calm, less stressed, more easygoing and a lot more resilient.
Most people think they are standing up for themselves when they're defending themselves to someone because they think that person is completely wrong about them - but that's not true. The real reason people get defensive either at work on in any of their relationships may just blow your mind.
YOU DON'T NEED THEIR APPROVAL // AKA CODEPENDENT BEHAVIOR We do things, and we don't do things, or we say things or we don't say things either because we're trying to get approval from others or we're trying to stop them from taking it away. This is a codependent behavior. And the truth is, you don't need their approval for the choices you make for yourself about the things that impact you. Stop seeking approval and start self-differentiating. I promise, it will make you so much more confident and happy than needing other people to [...]
Here we talk about what decreases our ability to cope which then often ends up in either anger toward others or anger directed toward ourselves, and what we can do to help increase it.
Resentment can be a tough one because more often than not, the person we are bitter and resentful toward has no idea we resent them. There is a process to stop feeling resentful so we can let go of resentment and in this video I'm going to teach it to you.
DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE // DIFFICULT PEOPLE We all have someone in our lives that we find difficult and that we often label as a difficult person. And in this video I'm going to teach you how to deal with difficult people in a way you probably have never learned before. This tool is incredibly powerful when we're able to take a step back and reflect and respond instead of react to someone we're finding difficult. I hope you love this tool as much as I do.
BE YOURSELF//POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE Many among us are often scared to truly be ourselves. We scared to feel good about ourselves, believe in ourselves or acknowledge ourselves for who we are and the strengths and gifts we have. It can feel vulnerable to be ourselves and to create a positive self-image and we often don't know who to truly feel good about who we are because no one told us we could.
I'm going to be honest - loving yourself takes work. It's not as easy as just deciding one day that you're going to do it. What it takes to love yourself is not just about trying to stop feeling bad about yourself, but it requires that you first deal with the mindset blocks, or self-defeating beliefs that are stopping you from being able to do it in the first place. In this video I teach you 3 reasons you still don't love yourself - even though you think you want to, and how to start [...]
Here's a catch 22: there are things you do when you're anxious that make anxiety worse, which then causes you to keep doing these things. In order to make anxiety better, you need to stop doing these things. The good news is, when you stop doing them, you'll not only feel less anxious in the moment but will also then feel less compelled to do them.
Self-love is something most of us want more of, but few of us actually know how to do. Love as a concept is something we're all able to give to others, but have a hard time giving it to ourselves. In this video I teach more deeply on why that is, and teach you one easy way to actually love yourself more, how to boost your self love and how to practice authentic self-love.
Emotional intelligence is not a valuation of your worth, rather a result of the type of emotional intelligence learning and modelling you had access to. And regardless of where you're at on your emotional intelligence journey being more intentional and aware of the things we think, say or do will help us feel more in charge of our minds, out emotions and our lives - and this, in and of itself will also help build confidence.
It's easy to sit and wonder why you can't make a decision and then get frustrated with yourself for getting stuck in indecision. In this talk on@Julia Kristina Counselling I talk about the real reason you can't make a decision, and how to make it easier for yourself to do it in any situation.