General | Julia Kristina Counselling - Part 14

Stop Trying To Be So Nice. It’s Making You Miserable.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00February 4th, 2016|General|

By nice, I mean trying so hard to always be pleasant, pleasing, lovely, happy, positive, only doing what other people want you to do, never speaking up for fear of ruffling any feathers, keeping yourself hidden and small behind what you think other people want or expect you of you… nice. Don’t get me wrong, I am a big advocate for treating others with kindness, care, and respect. Be considerate and thoughtful, yes. Only doing or saying or acting in ways we think other people want us to because we want, no we NEED them [...]

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A Hard Truth You Need to Hear.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00January 21st, 2016|General|

And it’s going to be hard for different people for different reasons. This might be a little harsh, and if it makes you uncomfortable, it’s probably a good thing – it means you need to hear it. We’re just going to jump right in, so here it goes: No one is better than you and you are not better than anyone else. For some of you, that may be relieving, for others uncomfortable. So let me explain: We all have our strengths, gifts, talents and abilities that we bring to the table in any of [...]

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Boundary Setting & Effective Communication Skills Bootcamp CONTEST

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00January 15th, 2016|General|

In case you missed it on Periscope*, Julia Kristina Counselling is holding a contest for 1 exclusive seat in her Boundary Setting and Effective Communication Skills Bootcamp 6-week LIVE virtual coaching group. Contest closes at 2:00 pm PST on Saturday January 16th, 2016. Here are all the ways to get your name in the draw: You get 1 entry for: Visit Julia Kristina's Twitter page found here and RETWEET the official Bootcamp posters on her twitter feed Go to Julia Kristina Counselling’s Facebook Page found HERE and SHARE the Bootcamp posters. There are several posters on both Twitter and [...]

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3 Surprising Things that Will Make You Happier.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00January 14th, 2016|General|

You’ve heard them all before. The things you need to do to become happier. Things like be grateful, count your blessings, do things you enjoy, surround yourself with positive people, find the silver lining in every challenging situation. And so on and so forth. Not knocking those. No, not at all. They are all GREAT things to do and they will make a significant impact on your level of overall happiness. And who doesn’t want to be happier? Aren’t we all, at some point or another, searching for the magic formula that will rid us [...]

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How to Keep Yourself From Ever Being Disappointed.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00January 10th, 2016|General|

Ever been disappointed? THAT was a dumb question. So, as you know, it feels awful. And I’m going to go as far as to say that deep disappointment is probably one of the worst feelings ever. But not to worry, right here, right now, I’m going to tell you what you need to do to never feel disappointed again. You must never try anything new, do anything daring, take any risks, pursue any of your dreams, go for any of your big goals, or start any new relationships. On second thought, just to be sure, [...]

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For Those Who Have Ever Experienced Self-Doubt.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00December 17th, 2015|General|

"When you doubt your strength, you give strength to your doubt." Have you ever told yourself you’re not good enough, not strong enough, not worthwhile enough, not smart enough, not valuable, too insignificant, incompetent, or unworthy of real love and connection, or some other lovely thing like that? If you said yes. Don’t worry. You are SO not alone. That little voice working its darndest to convince you of all kinds of no good is self-doubt. And it’s a doozy. But that’s what self-doubt does. For some reason, self-doubt thinks it’s okay to just waltz [...]

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Modern Family Just Put My Knickers in a Twist.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:45-07:00December 10th, 2015|General|

Modern Family is one of my favourite sit-coms on TV right now. It’s one of the few shows that makes me laugh out loud many times each episode. I find it to be the perfect blend of humour and heart warm, and every time I try to choose a favourite character, I really can’t. I love them all! But just recently I was watching one of the latest episodes where at the end, the character Jay who is the hard-on-the-outside-soft-on-the-inside patriarch of the whole family, did something I fundamentally disagree with. In his attempt to motivate [...]

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Who the Hell Do You Think You Are?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:45-07:00December 3rd, 2015|General|

The other day I was with a client and we were working through some self-worth and self-esteem issues. The struggle was big and the struggle was real. And it was mostly due to the laundry list of criticisms and condemnations they had about themselves regarding all the things they believed they were not. And it got me thinking: How many of us find ourselves all caught up in our heads more often than that which is necessary (necessary meaning pretty much never) regarding all the things we’re not, but wish we were. How often do [...]

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Passive Aggressive Behaviour. What’s It All About?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:45-07:00November 26th, 2015|General|

Have you ever known someone who seems all nice and pleasant on the outside, but who you often go away from with a funny, uncertain, insecure or kind of ick feeling? You leave their presence asking yourself “what just happened? I feel all kinds of no good, but I can’t directly put my finger on what was said or done… all seemed pleasant on the surface, but something was just not right.” And then you start to question yourself and wonder if it’s you who’s being weird and not them. But I’m here to [...]

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The Importance of Fun. Any Why it’s NOT Optional.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:45-07:00November 17th, 2015|General|

We are generation always-looking-for-balance (whatever that means), and many of us don’t do such a great job of creating it all the time. Yes, work is important, but not the most important – contrary to common practice (I’m not going to say belief here, because I think most of us would agree that work is NOT the most important thing in life, although many of us often treat it as though it is). But there are actually 3 aspects of life we MUST be investing in if we have any hope of being [...]

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Are You an Abusive Person? I’ll Bet You Are.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:45-07:00November 10th, 2015|General|

If asked whether or not we support physical, emotional, or psychological abuse most of us would respond with a resounding NO WAY! But I’m going to go ahead and tell you: You’d be lying. And this is why: Boldly speaking, most of us are way too emotionally, psychologically, and even physically abusive with ourselves, if not frequently, than regularly. Physically: some of us over eat, under eat, or just eat crap. We over exercise, under exercise and put our bodies through the wringer on a regular basis. And I’m not even getting into the abuse we inflict [...]

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You Need to Fail. And I’ll Give You 3 Reasons Why.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:45-07:00October 26th, 2015|General|

Several years ago, after my breakthrough aha moment when the clouds opened up and it became crystal clear to me that I was going to do whatever it took to become a therapist, I realized I first had to become someone who was qualified enough to apply to grad school to become a therapist. So I spent that next 2 ½ years taking pre-requisite courses, and studying my butt off to write the big grad school standardized (aka GRE) exam. Once I felt prepared enough to write said monstrous exam I paid the several hundred [...]

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Love Someone Who Has Depression? 4 MORE Things You Need to Know.

By Julia Kristina|2022-03-11T14:33:23-08:00October 19th, 2015|General|

In this video I talk about 4 MORE things you need to know about loving someone with Depression - and some meaningful things you can do to help and support them. Part 1 of this series about loving someone with depression can be found here. Have a Mental Health or Personal Wellness Topic you'd like me to cover in a video? Feel free to leave your suggestions or questions in the comments section below. If you enjoyed this video, please do share it. And if you do, please let me know so I can thank you![/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

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If You Need Affirmation From Others, Is there Something Wrong with You?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:45-07:00October 18th, 2015|General|

The other day someone asked me if I thought it was a bad thing for them to enjoy getting positive affirmation from others, and I said, no, as long as you don’t need it. As long as it’s just the icing on your cake. But that is wrong. I made a big mistake. And I take it back. Here’s why. We are relational beings. Through and through. And in the happiness research I always have my nose in, the same thing keeps showing up as the single most influential contributor to our overall happiness and [...]

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For Those Who Hate Boundary Setting – I Give You Boundary Setting Light.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:46-07:00October 15th, 2015|General|

Of all the topics people ask me to write or speak about, hands down the most common one is always something to do with boundary setting. Apparently it’s a big deal for most of us. And it can be a tricky one to master, or at least do somewhat well some of the time. And it’s true, communication in general is complicated. What can I say, we are complicated beings! And thank goodness for that. If we weren’t, my life would be boring and my borderline unhealthy obsession with all things psychology would be pretty [...]

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Those Terrible American Idol Auditions… They Actually Have One Up on Us!

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:46-07:00October 4th, 2015|General|

The other day I was having this conversation with my brother (I feel like I start many of these articles like this), but anyway, he said something to me I already knew, but the context in which he said it totally blew my mind. So the day of said conversation I was having a day. And not a great day. On this particular day my mind was being taken over by my inner critic who was trying its darndest to knock me right off my feet, and it didn’t feel good. You see, I love [...]

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Entrepreneurial Boundary Setting 101

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:46-07:00September 27th, 2015|General|

"Boundaries don’t mean you are mean. Boundaries mean you are clear." I’m a therapist. And so my job is to care. But I also really do care, which is one of the big reasons I love my job so much. I get to earn a living doing something I genuinely love, and am so grateful for it every day. Part of what I do as well is give some of my knowledge and expertise away for free. I write this blog, I have given pro bono talks around my community, I have a YouTube [...]

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Feeling Guilty for Not Finishing Something You Started? Here’s What You Need to Do.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:46-07:00September 20th, 2015|General|

How many of us have ever started a recreational project, activity, or hobby only to leave it haphazardly abandoned somewhere along the way? And then find its said incompleteness hanging heavily over our heads and haunting us to no avail? And some days we even find ourselves lying in bed thinking “dang nabbit! Another day went by and I didn’t pick up that guitar that’s become a dust mite paradise over in the corner, or sign up for part 2 of that French course I started 3 years ago, or put the finishing touches on the [...]

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Know Someone Who is Depressed? This is What You Need to Know.

By Julia Kristina|2022-03-11T14:35:12-08:00September 17th, 2015|General|

In this video I talk about 6 things you need to know about loving someone with Depression - and some meaningful and effective things you can do to help and support them. If you enjoyed this, please do share it. And if you do, let me know so I can thank you!

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How I Got Through My Mini Crisis: A Step by Step Guide.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:46-07:00September 14th, 2015|General|

Failure is not about whether or not you fall in the hole, it’s about whether or not you climb out of it. The last month, business wise, has been weird. Good weird or bad weird. I’m not sure yet, but hopefully by the end of this article it will be more clear. As I was saying, it’s been a month. A total entrepreneurial roller coaster of a month. Some really great things have happened that I wasn’t expecting and I am really excited and grateful for those. But just the other day I was doing my [...]

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Free Therapy or Life Coaching Session Contest!

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:46-07:00September 9th, 2015|General|

In case you missed it on Periscope*, Julia Kristina Counselling is holding a contest for a 55 minute Counselling or Life Coaching Session via Skype! Here are all the ways to get your name in the draw: Go to Julia’s Good for Me personal development blog here and pick your favourite article (or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5). You get 1 entry for: Each article you Tweet - and make sure you tag @juliacounsellor in the tweet in order for it to count. Liking Julia Kristina Counselling’s Facebook Page found HERE. You get 2 [...]

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Positive Affirmations Don’t Work.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:47-07:00September 6th, 2015|General|

And I’ll tell you why. In a minute. First. Have you ever stood in front of the mirror and told yourself something about being amazing, wonderful, powerful, and strong? And after the quick dopamine rush that any good pep talk can offer, did you feel like a changed person? I mean really, deeply changed? Did that warm and tingly feeling of confidence and self-love last more than a hot second or two? Most likely not. But you don’t have to feel bad, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just that you told yourself a [...]

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5 Things You are doing Unintentionally that are Making You More Anxious

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:47-07:00August 30th, 2015|General|

Anxiety is a normal emotion. We all feel it at times, and that’s not a bad thing. Anxiety CAN serve us well if and when it comes about to warn us of impending danger, but actual danger, not the relatively inconsequential things we usually get ourselves all worked up about. Anxiety is a big issue in our culture, bigger than ever. But I’m not going to go in to philosophizing as to why it’s become such a problem. We’ll save that for another day. Regardless of the reason for our anxious feelings, one thing is clear, it’s [...]

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A Self-Harm FAQ Video Collaboration.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:47-07:00August 28th, 2015|General|

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6SF5wQ5H2k A recent collaboration I did with a Mental Health Peer support YouTuber, LikeKristen. This girl is so incredible and inspirational, and such a joy to work with. In the video I answer some of her viewer FAQ's about how to talk to one's therapist about self harm. We hope you find it useful!

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I Just Had My Happiness Ass Kicked.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:47-07:00August 23rd, 2015|General|

Ponder this: When do you think you’re more likely to get a bigger hit of happiness? When you do something for someone who is easy to be generous with? Or when you have to work hard to make yourself be generous with someone who isn’t making it easy? Now hold that thought. Here’s a story: A short while ago a colleague of mine asked me for a favour. Not a huge favour, but they did ask if I would mind sharing a document with them I had created so they could copy it and use it for their [...]

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Those Who Pursue Their Dreams and Those Who Don’t: The 3 Big Differences.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:47-07:00August 16th, 2015|General|

All of us have dreams. But have you ever wondered why some of us pursue them and some don’t? Why do some people get out there and just go for what they want while the rest sit idly by on the sidelines wishing and hoping. Don’t get me wrong, there may be legitimately good reasons why some don’t pursue their dreams, but I have a feeling, no, in fact I know, many people don’t pursue their dreams for not very good reasons. And actually getting out there and pursuing ones dreams is not a matter [...]

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Feeling Stressed Out? This is Going to Help.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:47-07:00August 11th, 2015|General|

"There is more to life than simply increasing our speed" There are way more sources than ever before pushing and vying for our immediate attention, AND doing a really good job of luring us in whether we like it or not. They promised technology was going to make life exponentially easier because it was going to allow us to do things much faster thus adding simplicity and convenience to almost every area of our lives. But the exact opposite has become our reality – now that we can do more in less time, we don’t magically have heaps [...]

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5 Important Secrets Confident People Know Well.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:47-07:00August 3rd, 2015|General|

Do you think people are more confident because they are super successful? Or are people more successful because they tend to be quite confident? Most of us believe the former, when in fact, the latter is actually true. And although some were born exuding confidence right from the start, most of us have had to work on becoming more confident. So not to worry, you don’t have to have always had confidence in order to become a confident person. There are some pretty straight forward things you can start doing right away to bring out the Yay and [...]

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How To Keep it Together – Even When You’re Really Pissed Off.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:47-07:00July 26th, 2015|General|

Anger is quite a powerful little 5 letter word that means very different things to different people. For some, especially women, it is an emotion that is rejected or avoided at all cost and understood as evil, bad, or unacceptable. For others it is all too present and readily available to use to hurt, damage, or destroy – sometimes irreparably so. But anger is just an emotion. And like any emotion, it’s not really right or wrong, but what we do with it can either be used for either good or evil. For good, anger can help [...]

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Why Trying to be Fiercely Independent Will Leave You Wildly Unhappy.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:48-07:00July 20th, 2015|General|

The other day on CBC Radio One they were talking about teen depression and how it’s on the rise in North America. Some stats say that approximately 20% of all teens will experience a major depressive episode before they reach their adult years. I find this information quite off-putting and disturbing and it's made me reflect on the why of it all. Why, in a nation where the majority of us have way more than anyone could ever want, let alone, need? Where we have freedom, food, and fresh water? Where we have education, elected government, and employment? Where [...]

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