happiness | Julia Kristina Counselling

3 Unintentional Habits that Are Killing Your Confidence.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:42-07:00January 19th, 2017|General|

Bad habits. Sometimes they are things we don’t even know we’re doing, but are having a negative effect on our self-confidence nonetheless. Now we could go on to hypothesize as where and why and where we picked up these bad habits in the first place, but we’ll save that for another day. For today, let’s just draw our attention to them, and make a concerted effort to get rid of them. Saying sorry all the time. Of course I’m not talking about apologizing if we’ve hurt, offended, inconvenienced, or upset someone (whether intentionally or not), but those [...]

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3 Surprising Things that Will Make You Happier.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00January 14th, 2016|General|

You’ve heard them all before. The things you need to do to become happier. Things like be grateful, count your blessings, do things you enjoy, surround yourself with positive people, find the silver lining in every challenging situation. And so on and so forth. Not knocking those. No, not at all. They are all GREAT things to do and they will make a significant impact on your level of overall happiness. And who doesn’t want to be happier? Aren’t we all, at some point or another, searching for the magic formula that will rid us [...]

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How to Keep Yourself From Ever Being Disappointed.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:44-07:00January 10th, 2016|General|

Ever been disappointed? THAT was a dumb question. So, as you know, it feels awful. And I’m going to go as far as to say that deep disappointment is probably one of the worst feelings ever. But not to worry, right here, right now, I’m going to tell you what you need to do to never feel disappointed again. You must never try anything new, do anything daring, take any risks, pursue any of your dreams, go for any of your big goals, or start any new relationships. On second thought, just to be sure, [...]

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The Importance of Fun. Any Why it’s NOT Optional.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:45-07:00November 17th, 2015|General|

We are generation always-looking-for-balance (whatever that means), and many of us don’t do such a great job of creating it all the time. Yes, work is important, but not the most important – contrary to common practice (I’m not going to say belief here, because I think most of us would agree that work is NOT the most important thing in life, although many of us often treat it as though it is). But there are actually 3 aspects of life we MUST be investing in if we have any hope of being [...]

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For Those Who Hate Boundary Setting – I Give You Boundary Setting Light.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:46-07:00October 15th, 2015|General|

Of all the topics people ask me to write or speak about, hands down the most common one is always something to do with boundary setting. Apparently it’s a big deal for most of us. And it can be a tricky one to master, or at least do somewhat well some of the time. And it’s true, communication in general is complicated. What can I say, we are complicated beings! And thank goodness for that. If we weren’t, my life would be boring and my borderline unhealthy obsession with all things psychology would be pretty [...]

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Positive Affirmations Don’t Work.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:47-07:00September 6th, 2015|General|

And I’ll tell you why. In a minute. First. Have you ever stood in front of the mirror and told yourself something about being amazing, wonderful, powerful, and strong? And after the quick dopamine rush that any good pep talk can offer, did you feel like a changed person? I mean really, deeply changed? Did that warm and tingly feeling of confidence and self-love last more than a hot second or two? Most likely not. But you don’t have to feel bad, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just that you told yourself a [...]

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Those Who Pursue Their Dreams and Those Who Don’t: The 3 Big Differences.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:47-07:00August 16th, 2015|General|

All of us have dreams. But have you ever wondered why some of us pursue them and some don’t? Why do some people get out there and just go for what they want while the rest sit idly by on the sidelines wishing and hoping. Don’t get me wrong, there may be legitimately good reasons why some don’t pursue their dreams, but I have a feeling, no, in fact I know, many people don’t pursue their dreams for not very good reasons. And actually getting out there and pursuing ones dreams is not a matter [...]

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Feeling Stressed Out? This is Going to Help.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:47-07:00August 11th, 2015|General|

"There is more to life than simply increasing our speed" There are way more sources than ever before pushing and vying for our immediate attention, AND doing a really good job of luring us in whether we like it or not. They promised technology was going to make life exponentially easier because it was going to allow us to do things much faster thus adding simplicity and convenience to almost every area of our lives. But the exact opposite has become our reality – now that we can do more in less time, we don’t magically have heaps [...]

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Why Trying to be Fiercely Independent Will Leave You Wildly Unhappy.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:48-07:00July 20th, 2015|General|

The other day on CBC Radio One they were talking about teen depression and how it’s on the rise in North America. Some stats say that approximately 20% of all teens will experience a major depressive episode before they reach their adult years. I find this information quite off-putting and disturbing and it's made me reflect on the why of it all. Why, in a nation where the majority of us have way more than anyone could ever want, let alone, need? Where we have freedom, food, and fresh water? Where we have education, elected government, and employment? Where [...]

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6 Essential Habits Of Emotionally Healthy People.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:51-07:00May 22nd, 2015|General|

We all want to feel good and be emotionally healthy – no surprise there! And often times feeling satisfied with who we are is simply the result of how we choose to act and react in any of the situations we face on a daily basis. In the years I’ve been in practice as a mental health therapist I’ve worked with many men and woman in their healing, growth, and personal development process, and what I’ve found is there are a few key things many of them learn to do through our work together that really [...]

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9 Things You Can Do To Feel Great Today, and Everyday.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:51-07:00May 7th, 2015|General|

1. Make Yourself a Priority. No, it’s not ALL about you, but No it’s not NEVER about you. Your needs matter and other people’s needs matter. But remember when I said your needs matter? It’s up to you to value yourself, take care of yourself and, set your own healthy boundaries for yourself – it’s not anyone else’s responsibility. And if you don’t consider yourself in any of the equations, you’ll likely find yourself feeling exhausted, run down, bitter and frustrated – and that’s no good. I'll use one of my favourite metaphors to illustrate this [...]

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15 Inspiring Quotes that Will Make you More Motivated and Grounded.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:51-07:00April 16th, 2015|General|

I’m not really a quotes type of person – meaning I typically don’t go seeking them out. But I do a lot of reading on psychology, mental health, wellness, and personal development and every once and awhile, something someone has written will just seem to jump out and smack me across the face. I usually take this as a sign that I really must be meant to hear what’s being said so I try to make a habit of writing these little doozies down. Here is my list of both the most recent and most [...]

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We Have So Much. So Why Aren’t We Happier?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:53-07:00November 21st, 2014|General|

Depression is on the rise. Current research tells us this is so, which may not be too much of a shocker. In fact, by some estimates depression is 10 times more common than it was 60 years ago. And before you think this is because 60 years ago most people didn't have the term “Major Depressive Disorder” in their personal dictionary so couldn't actually identify it as such, much of this research is based on tens of thousands of door to door surveys asking people about histories of crying for days on end, making attempts [...]

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Is It Better to Work Hard or Take A Step Back?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:54-07:00October 20th, 2014|General|

When in your golden years and reflecting back on that which has been your life thus far, what would you like to say to yourself? “Gosh, I wish I would have just chilled out more and taken time to rest, relax, and spend time with the people I love.” Or “Oh man, I sure wish I would have just gotten over my fears, hesitations, excuses, and lack of belief in myself and just gone for the goals and dreams I really wanted to work toward and accomplish.” This is a tough one because neither is [...]

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The Ice Bucket Challenge: Maybe Not So Great After all

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:54-07:00August 27th, 2014|General|

So I’m not on Facebook (I think we’re actually a dying race) but when I heard through the grapevine about the ALS Ice Bucket challenge I was confused, and then awe struck. BRILLIANT I thought. I love clever marketing that gets mass buy-in literally overnight. I thought the whole thing was a great idea, and having been somewhat familiar with ALS after reading Tuesdays With Morrie several years ago and learning about how devastating and tragic this illness is, I was immediately in support. Until I read this article by MACLEANS Magazine. Although the tone [...]

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Who Says? and Who Cares?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:54-07:00July 17th, 2014|General|

I find it curious when people talk about how they feel bad because they think they should be more interesting by being more interested in something that’s “cool” (I’m not really sure who’s the official word on what’s cool and what’s not, but anyway…) Let’s look at this. Feeling crummy about yourself because you think you should be more interested in x, y, or z in order to make yourself more interesting. But what happens if you’re NOT actually really all that interested in x, y, or z? Some of the ones I've heard are: [...]

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The Next Three.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:54-07:00July 3rd, 2014|General|

As promised the continuation from last time, here they are: THE FINAL 3 THINGS YOU CAN START WORKING ON IN YOUR PURSUIT TO BECOME A MORE ADAPTABLE PERSON 1. Experience Rejection without Blaming Yourself: You know it and I know it. Rejection is painful. It’s like stubbing your big toe. It often causes our self-esteem to be wounded as a result. What many of us do then, is kick ourselves when we’re down: we blame and criticise ourselves and are quick to tell ourselves why we’re no good and not worthy of success or acceptance. [...]

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State or Trait

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:54-07:00June 29th, 2014|General|

Believe it or not, there is a pretty basic trait that you may not realize will really help to make you a much happier person. It’s the ability to be adaptable. And the good news is that even if adaptability doesn’t come naturally to you, it is something you can intentionally work on and learn to become more of. We all face different challenging circumstances and interactions on a daily basis and how we respond to these can vary greatly. Some of us buckle under the pressure of emotional discomfort and often find ourselves feeling hopeless or [...]

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Not Too Bad At All.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:56-07:00December 17th, 2012|General|

This year I plan to make the sojourn back to the motherland in good old Saskatoon Saskatchewan. Now for the past couple of weeks I have been sharing this news when asked what plans I have for the Christmas Holidays, and more often than not the response I get to my reply has been something like: “Oh wow! Good luck!” or “Really? Why?” or “Oh dear, it’s so cold there!!” or something to that effect. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t really find this offensive – I get it. It is cold there and we [...]

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Getting Happier. Three of Three.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:58-07:00July 16th, 2012|General|

Over the past couple weeks we’ve been talking about perspective and how using empowering language and looking at our choices in a positive way can make us happier. Have I mentioned my disdain for the word should? I’ve been going through the list of 15 things we can do to increase our happiness, and as promised, here are the final 5: THE LAST 5 THINGS WE CAN CHOOSE TO DO TO INCREASE OUR HAPPINESS (in this series anyway) 11. CHOOSE TO USE YOUR COURAGE (cf: Give Up on Your Fears) We can choose to be [...]

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Perspective. Part Deux.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:58-07:00July 9th, 2012|General|

Last week we started to talk about perspective and looking at ways to increase our happiness through positive and empowering choices. The focus was on what we can choose to do. But only if we want. This week I promised to go through the next 5. SO without further ado… THE NEXT 5 THINGS WE CAN CHOOSE TO DO TO INCREASE OUR HAPPINESS 6. TAKE OPPORTUNITIES TO EXPRESS GRATITUDE (Original: Give Up on Complaining): We all have things we can be grateful for, like certain people and situations in our lives, or other things that are good or decent or [...]

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Zero Tolerance.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:01-07:00April 30th, 2012|General|

Further to last week’s discussion, I’ve been learning more about that which seems to be contributing to the current state of our overly anxious society: and that is our ability (or lack thereof) to tolerate frustration. What I mean is, some things, sometimes, are not within our control, and we often aren’t able to manage every little detail, and things don’t always go exactly our way. Many of us have learned to lose our patience when things do not go as planned and thus often experience some greater or lesser (but often greater) degree of [...]

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Will I Be Pretty?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:01-07:00March 26th, 2012|General|

When is enough, enough? After watching this YouTube video that was sent to me I became overwhelmed with emotion as I thought about how many women and girls in our culture have become obsessed with our physical appearance. Literally. I mean obsessed. At first I thought, “Yeah, speak it loud and clear sister! Looks shouldn’t matter at all! And as women we need to stop thinking about, caring about, or worrying about what we look like! Who even cares!” Well, after coming down from this emotional high and thinking about it a little further I’d [...]

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If Only…

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:01-07:00February 27th, 2012|General|

According to research, the life circumstances in which we find ourselves; meaning that whether we live in a mansion or a trailer, on the sunny southern west coast or the bitterly cold prairies, our degree of beauty or plainness, our fitness level or body mass index, or whether we are married or single makes up only about 10% of our sense of well-being and happiness. In theory, then, this means that we can spend the better part of our adult life scrimping, saving, and stressing over every dime spent in order to one day afford [...]

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Two Four

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:06:04-07:00September 5th, 2011|General|

Feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and exhausted because of putting everyone else’s needs before ones own has been a topic that has come up surprisingly frequently in my personal and professional life the past few weeks. As relational beings and perhaps more so for those of us who consider ourselves people pleasers, we often find ourselves feeling as though others’ well being and happiness is our responsibility to create, nurture, and maintain. Not only is this an incredibly ambitious undertaking, but in actuality, not humanly possible. Although sometimes it might be nice to have ultimate power and [...]

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