Good For Me Blog | Julia Kristina Counselling - Part 16

What Every Boss Needs to Know (AND Every Person For That Matter).

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:52-07:00March 18th, 2015|General|

When I hear something once, I listen closely. When I hear something twice, I take note. When I hear something 3 times in one week, I take it as a sign that something bigger needs to be done. And this is it. Last week, in my practice I was told on 3 separate occasions by 3 separate clients about how they are feeling discouraged, disillusioned, disgruntled and disappointed with their bosses because they've been working really hard and their bosses don't actually seem to notice. They feel they've been pushing hard, giving extra, and going above [...]

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What is Mindfulness Anyway?

By Julia Kristina|2022-03-11T14:41:30-08:00March 10th, 2015|Psychotherapy, Video|

In this video I give a simple and straightforward explanation of what Mindfulness is all about and why it's all the rage right now.

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5 Things That Will Make You More Likeable (to Others AND Yourself).

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:52-07:00March 4th, 2015|General|

I’d say it’s safe to say most of us like being liked. And there are times when maybe we’re not so sure how liked we are and would perhaps like to be a little more liked. I mean really, who doesn’t want to be on the top of the invited-out-for-lunch group at the office? Or the person getting ample calls, texts and emails with requests for weekend plans? Of course, some people are just more likeable by nature – usually those who have a more easygoing or optimistic personality. That said here are some pretty [...]

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To Be Super Successful Do You Have to Have an Inferiority Complex?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:52-07:00February 26th, 2015|General|

Well, yes and no. But I’m inclined to think from what I’ve been hearing and reading lately it’s more of a yes. I’m not exactly sure how I'm defining successful here but the more time I spend reading posts on LinkedIn and other business and entrepreneurial type publications the more I keep coming across articles written by those – somewhat semi-famous in their fields -- about how they achieved their major career successes. What I’d been looking for to motivate and inspire I found was often leaving me feeling discouraged and frustrated. This is because [...]

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5 Things Emotionally Healthy People Do

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:52-07:00February 19th, 2015|General|

It feels good to feel good. That’s not new ground-breaking information. I know. But many of us look at people who seem to feel good and have it more or less together more or less of the time as being special kinds of people that we could never be. But the truth is, they’re not that special (sorry guys). They’ve just learned, implemented, and intentionally practiced some really healthy perspectives, attitudes, and behaviours that are actually not all that complicated, and do wonders for building and maintaining positive self-esteem and happiness. So here are a [...]

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If You’re Feeling Anxious or Worried This Will Help.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:52-07:00February 11th, 2015|General|

Anxiety is normal – and all of us have felt it to a certain degree at some point – some more than others, but knowing this doesn't exactly make it all that much more pleasant or enjoyable. What we know about anxiety is that it often comes from fear. The fear of something that could or might happen in the future regardless of how likely or realistic it is. But when we're in the middle of feeling that fear, it seems veryreal and actually quite likely to occur. And then sometimes we don’t even know [...]

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3 Lies Perfectionism Wants You To Believe.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:52-07:00February 6th, 2015|General|

We are somehow becoming a society of people who believe, promote, and encourage the idea that if we want to be seen as successful, worthwhile, and valuable human beings we need to be perfect in every way. For one reason or another there's the idea out there (and in here) that in order to feel really good about who we are we need to be outstanding, awe-inspiring, limitless, totally beyond reproach, and flawless. To say the least. Now that is a LOT of pressure. Trying our darndest to prove to ourselves and others we are [...]

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Why It’s So Important To Care More About Each Other.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:52-07:00January 27th, 2015|General|

Further to our last discussion in and around freedom of Expression found here and here, I received some really thoughtful feedback on my blog, here on LinkedIn and also in my personal email inbox. One such reflections that came to my inbox, so was thus not shared publicly, was from my dear Auntie Ruth Blaser. Ruth is such a deep, thoughtful, and passionate person who dedicates her life to the acceptance. love, advocacy, and inclusion of others in many different realms, and is an inspiration and role model to many. Here is what she had to [...]

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Does Freedom of Expression Mean Anything Goes?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:52-07:00January 21st, 2015|General|

Are there, or should there be limits to free expression? Does having freedom mean we are exempt from being responsible for ourselves and for how our words - both spoken and written - and created images affect others? In an interesting article found here the Pope says states that freedom of speech is a fundamental human right and we have a duty to speak up for the sake of the common good. But what if what we're saying is not for the common good? What if it's actually to shame, ridicule, insult, and put down [...]

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It’s More Important to Listen than to Give Advice.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:52-07:00January 15th, 2015|General|

When is the best time to give advice? And the answer is… never. And by never, I mean not ever. Unless, of course, we specifically ask the person if they are looking for our thoughts or suggestions regarding their troublesome situation, AND they reply “yes!” or they explicitly request our advice (but even then the person rarely actually wants your advice – they just want you to fix their problem for them which, of course, none of us can actually do). You see, many of us believe in earnest that we are the experts on [...]

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Emotional Offenders: Taking Them on Giuliani Style.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:52-07:00December 18th, 2014|General|

Back in the mid-nineties when New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani embarked on his lofty mission to clean up the Big Apple and tackle its infamously high crime rate, one might be surprised to learn that his strategy did not focus on going after the big time, hardened, or most dangerous criminals. Instead, he began by literally cleaning up the city. He did this by installing thousands more public garbage cans, restoring many run down historical buildings, removing an exorbitant amount of graffiti, and cracking down hard on more minor violations and small time offenders. [...]

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Influential People: How Do They Do It?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:52-07:00December 12th, 2014|General|

In his runaway bestselling book TheTipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell writes about a certain type of person he calls “senders.” These people, he writes, “Are those who are very good at expressing their emotions and feelings [in a positive and uplifting way], which means they are far more emotionally contagious than the rest of us.” These are the types of people who, after spending some time in their presence, we can’t help but absorb, take on, and be influenced by the energy they are sending out. Have you ever been feeling kind of blah and then [...]

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Mindfulness for Overcoming Anxiety: A Simple Little Exercise.

By Julia Kristina|2014-12-10T11:35:53-08:00December 8th, 2014|Psychotherapy, Video|

http://youtu.be/6iR2Yw8gBIo

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How to Ease Holiday Stress and Anxiety: 5 Great Strategies.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:53-07:00December 3rd, 2014|General|

Tis the season to often feel a little (re: a lot) overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious. Part of the reason for this is because often times the Christmas Season comes with a whole lot of obligations, commitments, invitations, and engagements. There are presents to buy, parties to attend, open houses to show up at, baking to get done, guests to house, travelling to do and many, many other unspoken expectations to fulfill. It can be enough to make anyone lose their cool and have a freak out. Or 2. Or 10. Although it feels like you [...]

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Treating Anxiety and Depression: Why Talking About Our Problems Makes Us Feel Better

By Julia Kristina|2022-03-11T14:42:23-08:00November 30th, 2014|General, Psychotherapy, Video|

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How To Have A Really Bad Day.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:53-07:00November 28th, 2014|General|

1. Compare yourself to others: Really focus hard on what others have that you don't. 2. Criticize yourself in whatever you do: Even if you have a success, tell yourself why it's not good enough and why it should have been more or better. 3. Criticize others in whatever they do: Expect others to be perfect, be able to read your mind, and anticipate all your needs without ever actually telling them what your wants and needs are. 4. Call yourself down for any and every mistake you make… or have ever made: Really focus [...]

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Five Steps to Help You Reach Your Lofty Goals.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:53-07:00November 27th, 2014|General|

Having ideas are great, having goals are extremely important, and being ambitious, determined, hardworking, and focused are all really solid and respectable qualities. But many of us make the mistake of becoming too ambitious and have too big of goals that we try to chew off in one giant bite, and soon realize it's much more than we can handle and end up giving up pretty quickly. And that NEVER feels good, or allows us to grow and flourish as individuals. That said, there are a few pretty simple and straightforward steps you can take [...]

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We Have So Much. So Why Aren’t We Happier?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:53-07:00November 21st, 2014|General|

Depression is on the rise. Current research tells us this is so, which may not be too much of a shocker. In fact, by some estimates depression is 10 times more common than it was 60 years ago. And before you think this is because 60 years ago most people didn't have the term “Major Depressive Disorder” in their personal dictionary so couldn't actually identify it as such, much of this research is based on tens of thousands of door to door surveys asking people about histories of crying for days on end, making attempts [...]

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You Are A Lot Tougher Than You Think.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:53-07:00November 19th, 2014|General|

Remember that time when that thing turned out to be not as bad as you thought it would? AKA – pretty much each and every time with pretty much each and every thing? So what makes us worry our precious heads and hearts to pieces thinking about how things, circumstances, or experiences in our lives could go terribly awry, thereby causing us to lose sleep, fun, relationships and quality of life over? The truth is, if we take a moment and reflect on it, often most situations in our lives go at least somewhat according [...]

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Turn A Bad Day Into A Good One With One Simple Exercise.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:53-07:00November 12th, 2014|General|

As you've probably heard, Mindfulness is all the rage right now. And if you haven’t heard, Mindfulness is all the rage right now. So what is mindfulness? According to Wikipedia, “Mindfulness is the intentional, accepting and non-judgmental focus of one's attention on the emotions, thoughts and sensations occurring in the present moment, which can be trained by meditational practices.” Basically it’s about living in the now. It's a great skill to hone and really helps with stress reduction, focusing and becoming more production. It sounds easy, but it’s not always. Personally, I've always had a [...]

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Why Facebook Can Be Bad For Us.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:53-07:00November 6th, 2014|General|

When I hear something once I listen closely. When I hear something twice it seems like a theme might be forming. When I hear something three times in the same day from three different clients I start to become concerned that we have a bigger problem here than I had originally thought. Word has been spreading, but I’m not sure if everyone has received the message yet – More and more evidence has been coming out saying that Facebook is really not good for us – in many ways. But the one I am [...]

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Why People Treat Us the Way they Do.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:53-07:00October 28th, 2014|General|

There’s an idea out there in the psychology world that we create, to a large extent, how people treat us. This is a big one that I've recently been finding myself thinking and philosophizing about more than usual. Now obviously if we are rude and mean to someone most likely they will respond to us with anger or resentment… nothing profound there. And, sometimes bosses, coworkers, friends, loved ones, and even complete strangers will be overtly rude to us for no apparent reason… I’m not saying we necessarily caused them to treat us in this [...]

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One of the Most Important Skills You Can Use.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:53-07:00October 24th, 2014|General|

Recently I came across some psychology literature that caught my attention. The author, well-known psychiatrist Scott M. Peck, points out that one of the most important skills we can teach our children, and also practice more of ourselves, is delaying gratification. When we wait a few minutes/hours/days before indulging in a decadent dessert/buying a new pair of shoes/or becoming the first time owner of a new sports car we appreciate and enjoy the object of our desire much more, or, the other thing that happens is we lose interest in said item and decide not [...]

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Is It Better to Work Hard or Take A Step Back?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:54-07:00October 20th, 2014|General|

When in your golden years and reflecting back on that which has been your life thus far, what would you like to say to yourself? “Gosh, I wish I would have just chilled out more and taken time to rest, relax, and spend time with the people I love.” Or “Oh man, I sure wish I would have just gotten over my fears, hesitations, excuses, and lack of belief in myself and just gone for the goals and dreams I really wanted to work toward and accomplish.” This is a tough one because neither is [...]

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No One Is Going to Pay You to Do What You Love.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:54-07:00October 2nd, 2014|General|

I could have sworn that I've written about this before, but can’t, for the life of me, find where. So, I guess I must have talked about it so much I just assumed I’d actually put it out there in to cyber space for a larger audience to be aware of. It’s true. No one is going to pay you to do what you love. Well, I guess it’s true… sort of. There are some people who really are lucky enough to love and be passionate about the work they are involved in, and actually [...]

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Allowing Ourselves to be Imperfect.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:54-07:00September 11th, 2014|General|

I’m not always sure if it was society, or parents, the media, or the kid down the street who told us we need to be someone we’re not in order to be good enough, worthwhile or have any value as human beings. Wherever it came from, it’s not nice. And how it has translated in to adult hood is by cultivating a breed of individuals who believe they need to be perfect, beautiful, always put together, beyond reproach, completely on the top of their game, who never show signs of having limits, emotions or boundaries and [...]

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The Ice Bucket Challenge: Maybe Not So Great After all

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:54-07:00August 27th, 2014|General|

So I’m not on Facebook (I think we’re actually a dying race) but when I heard through the grapevine about the ALS Ice Bucket challenge I was confused, and then awe struck. BRILLIANT I thought. I love clever marketing that gets mass buy-in literally overnight. I thought the whole thing was a great idea, and having been somewhat familiar with ALS after reading Tuesdays With Morrie several years ago and learning about how devastating and tragic this illness is, I was immediately in support. Until I read this article by MACLEANS Magazine. Although the tone [...]

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The Power Of…

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:54-07:00August 21st, 2014|General|

Does focusing on the positive make you a more positive person in general? I’m going to go ahead and say yes. If any of this brain research that’s been all the rage over the past couple years regarding brain plasticity and how quite a good part of our brains are made up of that which we put in to them, then it stands to reason that if we put pessimism and negativity into the old noggin (i.e. by focusing on what we might think sucks about an interaction, a situation or, our lives), then that’s [...]

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As the Tide.

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:54-07:00July 29th, 2014|General|

The truth about our emotions is that sometimes those sneaky little buggers get the best of us by making us wholeheartedly believe that what we’re feeling in a moment of discontent is an accurate portrayal of reality. If I feel like an idiot or a reject then I must be an idiot or a reject. The truth is, though, our emotions lie to us. If you think about it, we know how we may be feeling in a given moment can’t possibly be the total and utter truth because we’ve all had times of [...]

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Who Says? and Who Cares?

By Julia Kristina|2017-05-21T16:05:54-07:00July 17th, 2014|General|

I find it curious when people talk about how they feel bad because they think they should be more interesting by being more interested in something that’s “cool” (I’m not really sure who’s the official word on what’s cool and what’s not, but anyway…) Let’s look at this. Feeling crummy about yourself because you think you should be more interested in x, y, or z in order to make yourself more interesting. But what happens if you’re NOT actually really all that interested in x, y, or z? Some of the ones I've heard are: [...]

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